First off, I really can't believe it's already September. I'm a couple weeks into school already and it's a bit bizarre. As slowly as I am taking schooling, it's really been good for me in terms of my GPA and grade. Only having to focus on two things versus juggling three/four has been doing me good. I think beforehand, especially in my high school years my biggest stress was finishing things before deadlines for multiple classes and having trouble memorizing it all.
I'm really envious of people who have good memory skills and an high energy. I'm neither person and I know I have to have a balance of work and things that make me happy or I end up getting unmotivated/depressed and usually end up failing or giving up. So it's really good to just be taking things at my own pace as slow and steady as it is. Hopefully it works to my benefit.
I know I've said this plenty of times but school has made be so happy. I took it for granted a bit. I know why. I always compared myself to other people and bit off way more than I could chew in terms of academics. I always wanted to meet people's expectations instead of my own somewhat. I'm so much more sure of myself and focused on myself. I feel like it has made me a lot happier and a lot more mature of a person in these past couple of months. I feel well rested and not sick. That is a feat versus a year ago where I was. Emotionally I'm a lot healthier too in certain cases when it comes to stress and anxiety.
Other than school, it might be a bit personal to talk about on here but bare with me, I kind of treat this blog like a diary too of sorts. Because it IS my birthday month, I've been doing everything in my power to make it a good one. Especially after last year's events. Self love is the hardest thing to do for myself. I tend to have the habit of basing my self worth and self value on how people around me treat me.... I won't say all of what I've endured or what happened but I've literally had to separate myself from people so I could be emotionally healthy again. Despite how lonely and sad it feels at times, it's the best thing for me because I'm not hearing chatter. I've really been trying to focus on my studies and myself as a person.... This month unfortunately is always hard and has a lot of harsh hard memories even before the events of last year there was stuff even. September has always been a really strange month despite it being my birthday month. I don't know why unfortunate or weird things occur during my birthday...there's been good things in the past too to even it out but there's always a fuck ton of reminders or things that have happened too that always kind of send ghosts my way. But my goal for this month was to really work on myself inside and out and make it the best ever.
Change:
I ALSO bleached and dyed my hair pink! I know this is crazy and it was really a sudden thing for me. I just happened to be at Sally's and had bleach at home but spotted pastel pink dye and kind of wanted to try it out. Recently SakuRina (right after I dyed my hair too) has been rocking pink hair as well so I think it's kind of a trend right now. I loved my high lights from a year and a half ago and they really had a special meaning to me. However, they were fading a lot and it was time for an upgrade and a change. I wanted to feel pretty and I wanted to do something fun and out of the ordinary.
I think dying my hair pink really did that. I'm going to see if I can keep it pink for awhile.
WATCHING/READING:
I'm actually incredibly picky with my yaoi. As I've gotten older things like Junjou Romantica and Love Stage (which is like the new Gravitation) don't really appeal to me. I like really darker psychological love stories. I'm a huge jousei fan too and anything Ai Yazawa really is amazing. I also like the manga series 'Deep Love' as well and it's really sad and deep as well.
For me a series has to have pretty art work and a good storyline. Occasionally that's really hard to find with yaoi not because of the art always, but because a lot of series don't have a really complex plot that stretches.
So when I found 'Ten Count' I died. The beginning starts off a little slow but WOW this manga....where have you been all my life? I've been following it since the spring time but now I'm seriously hooked. I'm always reading spoilers when it first comes out. The idea of one of the characters being a germ-a-phobe really was an interesting deal and having the psychologist who is helping him be torn between corrupting him and loving him was just too good to pass up. I really love that Takarai Rihito has given reader such a complex story line to follow. There's so much for Shirotani and Kurose to over come. The relationship escalates at a gradual pace-it does get explicit later on but everything happens for a reason. It isn't just random smut. It has a plot and a really touching one.
I've never read anything LIKE Ten Count and there's nothing to compare it to. Clearly we need more series like this in the yaoi realm. I know there's other really gradual love stories but nothing quite complex and dark as this one.
Other than Ten Count, I've been ALL OVER Caste Heaven. Caste Heaven is so much worse and way darker. I don't even know where to begin with this series. Ogawa Chise is known for having some really fucked up and amusing storylines and this is no different. I don't know whether to call this the Battle Royale of yaoi considering there is not character deaths but there is a fight for the high social ranks. In this series there is a social ranking and your social rank determines how you'll be treated by the class. So far, there are two couples in this series. Azusa and Karino (who are kind of the tsundere and sadist couple) and Atsumu and Kuse (yandere and maschoist/pushover) and there's some really crazy things that go on in later chapters (I'm looking at you chapter eight LOL) but so far I'm really addicted and loving this. Mainly due to the character development and how there are despite the cruelty, small signs of loyalty and affection between the couples.
Other than that, yaoi wise. I JUST watched the second Viewfinder OVA. I really do like the Viewfinder manga as explicit and random as it can get. Asami is really sexy... *A* ahahaha.... I feel the same way about Kurose in terms of Ten Count. They're kind of cooler/calmer/more composed characters. I can't get over them.
In all I've been on such a yaoi fix. Other than that I've been reading this jousei manga called Sai x Ai. The girl character is kind of annoyingly stupid but holy hell the main guy in this is dead sexy. I just can't....OTL Do I have a type?! ahaha Maybe.. I have no idea. I'm getting back into reading 'romance' related things after so long. It's been hard too but I'm glad I came back to such alluring and visually appealing storylines.
MUSIC
Music wise, I've been on a Gazette fix. The new 'Dogma' album came out and I can't get over it. A lot of people say you either grow up with Dir en Grey or the Gazette. Though, I'm very sure older J-Rock fans can say otherwise about older generations of J-Rock and bands. But in this case, I have a Gazette bias. I think I first watched Zetsu and fell the fuck in love. Uruha claimed my soul. I wanted to LOOK LIKE THIS GUY. He had gorgeous legs, wore purple, and always had pretty eye make up. All in high school I wanted to be as dashing as he was.
Sound wise, I love how heavy the Gazette is. There's something about them that honestly, I can't find another J-Rock band that really compares to them. They have a sound that is just...trademark to them. I know Dir en Grey has kind of gotten out of the whole visual kei element and that's fine. Go them. However, what I love about the Gazette is the fact that not only their sound matured but their style matured. They kept their visual kei roots but really incorporated other elements and matured their style as they grew.
It really shows in the Dogma album. The song 'Dogma' in general combines what I feel is the 'old school' visual kei sound with the heavier new generation of rock... Ruki can scream now too. I remember hearing the Gazette collab with Takanori Nishikawa (TM Revolution) on Undercover II and the track 'Shaking Love' killed me because Takanori could scream. He was able to really kill it. It makes me wonder if he taught Ruki a little. ;D Maybe? Hm... Not sure but they've improved so much. Especially over their last album. They got rid of the electronics and stuck solely to the band. Honestly I feel like it does the other members a better justice. No need for electronics when you have a beautiful sounding band behind you.
Other than the Gazette. Namie Amuro and Crystal Kay collaborated recently and I kind of melted inside. There hasn't been a *good* Crystal Kay track in awhile in my honest opinion and when I heard this, even the B track sounded good. I'm impressed. Namie is flawless as usual. The re-edit of 'Hard to Say' made me die inside because...well...it's a child hood song I grew up on.
J-DRAMA
Ontop of being fujoshi trash, I've been kind of...anime trash in general. Death Note recently got a J-Drama and while the changes made the beginning quite rocky-if you just keep on watching it; it's not too bad. I have a bias with the movie because I actually really love Erika Toda who played Misa. However this cast isn't totally terrible. The storyline takes a couple twists which I honestly feel is nice considering that this is a redo and I can assume they wanted things to be different so we wouldn't get too bored watching the same thing over and over again.
The only thing that honestly disappointed me was the lack of handcuffs (ahaha I'm such a perv) on L and Raito because....yeah... I just thought that was hindrance to Raito a bit. It made him really have to adapt to L's surroundings and it's also what made them really bond. That 'teaming up' era too was really rushed in the J-Drama.
Other pet peeve was Misa being an idol. I kind of grew up really loving the punk lolita/ero-lolita era. I understand why the change was made. That style really isn't a thing anymore in terms of Harajuku street style. I remember a ton of girls trying to emulate it with Hot Topic wear -chuckle- and never really pulling it off... It was between emulating her and Bou from An Cafe. But I thought the style on Misa's character was really cute and semi-ly Tim Burton-esque considering how cute and annoying she was in terms of personality.
Regardless, it's something I get to look forward to watching weekly. You can watch in on Crunchyroll! :)
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