Fanime 2015: The Revival

I have just gotten back from the longest fun filled weekend and I for sure have to share it with you all asap. Fanime has been my home convention for the longest time. I've been going since I was sixteen years old (2008, way back when An Cafe was a huge highlight) and I have never missed it since. I went from being a cosplayer to just a general fashionista at this convention. I've lost friends and gained friends at this convention too... It's hard to believe that this is my 8th Fanime. Two more and it will be 10....

First off a HUGE HUGE thank you to my friends who made this work out last minute. A bit personal but we all know even through this blog how iffy I was on going to *anything* anymore. I just hadn't been having a good time even at the things I was going to before. There were a lot of nights with avoidance and tears... A lot of personal stuff went on and it just well broke me down. I've been at my lowest point for the longest time and have wondered if it was going to get better... And I just debated whether or not I wanted to put myself through that again. My confidence took the biggest hit and while I'm not all together again doing shoots like I was or just...putting myself *out there* in general. This was a start and my friends were the biggest god damn rock and biggest encouragement. There were many many things thrown our way at this con and I think in this past year not only just me but the rest of us have had tests within our friendships. The fact that we made this work was amazing. Thank you for coming together like a unit despite the adversity and harassment you had to go through to bring me to your side. Thank you for not caring what others say or what they have said. Thank you for putting up with my lack of confidence and indecisiveness thanks to my doubts and fears taking over. I hope you know how much encouragement and strength you have given me. I really *do not* want to lose any more friends but the fact that you have grown to understand me and understand the adversity I face and the pain I habor is a huge deal to me. So thank you for enduring me and thank you for really understanding that none of this was or is any easier for me as much as it has been hard for you guys as well. You guys have rekindled something in me that's been lost for the longest time under the layers of hurt and sadness... I am truly grateful.

As for the rest of the people who came and said hello to me. Thank you so much. I never really expected anyone to be excited to see me or say that they missed me so much. I didn't expect to be cried over or hugged so tight. I didn't expect anyone to stand up for me when there was trouble. I just...was so shocked. I'm tearing up just typing this. You guys have truly reminded me why I go to conventions and why I struggle earning and spending so much money to come out that way Memorial Day weekend (or to any event not just this one). You guys are worth that cash and trouble spent. I'm so so glad I got to reconnect with some of you that I haven't talked to in a couple years or a couple months. It made me so happy and to have you encourage me to come out more or invite me out is even more shocking and heartwarming. I want to spend more time with everyone that came to see me or say hello. I want to get to know you all more. Thank you so so much.....  Thank you for the deep thought out talks late at night and during lunch, thank you for introducing me to your lovers and close friends, thank you for the sweet gifts that reminded you of me, thank you for spending time with wounded barely getting up off the ground me. You are all giving me that strength that I need to get back up even if it's partial and do what I love. I really lost myself this past year due to a lot of loss and just...emotional wounds. I forgot about the things I love and the people who came with the things and hobbies that I love. Haha...I feel like such a dork writing this crying... But I mean every bit of this as I type it. I might not be the person who I was before who was crazy confident to the point of being borderline competitive serious. I might not be swarmed with new shoot material to show you guys anymore or be at things as often. I might not be as encouraging or just...generally just that fun outgoing person I was before. I won't be the person I used to be but hopefully this revived and new person is someone that you guys can grow to accept and someone I can grow into.....

Anyway enough with the feels!

Fanime was incredibly last minute. I went with a couple of close friends who seriously pulled strings last minute. Outfit wise I went with my newest purchase, I got a pink striped Golds Infinity dress. It was seriously sexy. I want more Golds Infinity. The older stuff or the stuff in between is seriously growing on me. I wore it with black Yumetenbo thigh boots and curled my hair. I was super gyaru for a bit. The biggest regret of my weekend was not getting any outfit pictures at all. So blog post don't expect anything BUT that because all I have is a bunch of selcas. I feel narcissistic asking someone to take a picture on my phone of myself. OTL I'll have to shoot my outfits another time. Day one and two's outfits were the sexiest I had felt in a long ass time though!

  We stayed at a hotel far away, a bit of a drive from the convention center. I helped Tammy with badge pick up and then we roamed around a bit. I met her super sweet friend Ken who is also my friend Jett's friend. Yay new friends! THIS GUY MAKES YUMMY DRINKS! I don't drink but he was totally into making 'non-alcoholic' drinks too. I think this was the first drinking experience that I have ever been super comfortable at. It was super chill. We all drank and talked. I invited Emma over since I wanted to give her gifts and lend her my Sailor Moon wand for her cosplay on Saturday. I met her super sweet boyfriend Henry. Tammy got to meet them as well and they met Ken. We all connected really well and had a good time. I wish we tagged along with Ken more though! ahaha next time!!

I took Emma and Tammy down the street. Along the way we spotted Muji and went inside. This was the first time exploring Muji. I want to go back and buy pretty pen sets and storage containers when I'm more balling. This weekend was just full of necessities and good food though.

After Muji we headed down to my favorite cafe down in the area away from the con and more near the school. I absolutely *adore* Amor Cafe. It's really relaxing and away from the con craziness. If you're willing to walk past Safeway and all, it's a nice get away spot. I love their drinks, bakery treats, and Chicken Nibblers. I literally got all of my kouhai obsessed with chicken nibblers. Mainly and specifically the sauce. IT WAS THE BEST SAUCE EVER. Right girls?

After food Tammy went off to spend time with some friends and I ended up over at Emma's hotel room. This is where I surprised Sydney and Bella! It was so happy I got to reunite with them. We hugged each other so fucking tight and spazzed out because it had literally been forever. I forgot what we did but I'm sure we ended up over at Pizza my Heart with a huge group of their friends. Henry rejoined us and I creeped on cuties in their kigus like the horrible pedophile I am. I literally went to Pizza my Heart for the vanilla Coke just to get stuck with cherry. Well damn.

Afterward I went to the game room with Sydney and Bella to meet up with Miguel. We had loads of fun derping around. By this time everyone else was realizing I was actually at the con and messaging me up a storm. I kept texting people to assure them that I would for sure seem them the next day. With that said I watched Miguel and Sydney play DDR and have Sydney painfully lose. We never got to PuriKura (;_; fuck) and I got to watch Bella and Sydney screech at each other while playing House of the Dead 2 (yay Dreamcast oldie much?!). They went off to go play Cards Against Humanity and I went to go find Jett and with Jett I found Vale. We ended up sitting around and just chilling. I was just super happy to see my brobro!

Afterward we turned in for the night but fucking the boys stayed up all night derping. They memorized this one song that I so won't get over. Like how the fuck did they memorize that shit? I will never know....

The next morning I woke up feeling like complete shit. I somehow stumbled out of bed and managed to put my face on. I don't even know how the fuck I managed but I did. Saturday's theme was 'rock gyaru'. I wore DIA for the first time though it looked like costume-y DIA. Perhaps a Halloween collab? It has DIA tags and the hood connected specifies the style is indeed. I had to get it. It was another new purchase for my haul from the weekend before. It was purple and crazy unique. I was pretty in love with it. Everyone insisted it needed a witch hat even though it had a hood.

Make up wise I layered lashes for the first time in forever... I haven't done that in years. My make up was crazy vampy as well. I was pretty proud of it though I feel like my hair color clashed? I contoured with a deep rose colored blush and blended like crazy. This look had a lot of glitter and was probably the heavier more painful make up look I went through throughout the weekend. It was worth it though. A lot of people say they like when I do the darker styled gyaru looks. I should invest in more Golds, D.i.a, Tutuha, ect. I feel like these brand suit me the best.

I ended after dying with Tammy to find parking (fml we parked in a shady ass lot) and ended up getting Pizza my Heart. I had a couple combo slices because I was starving. We totally should have ended up having Japanese food because I had pizza later on at night. D: Though I did discover that Pizza my Heart has AMAZING salads. Like no really wtf?

Emma ended up meeting up with us there. For a couple of months I've been helping her coordinate a really unique looking Princess Serenity cosplay from Sailor Moon. She seriously looked flawless. It suited her so well. I absolutely *adore* Sailor Moon so I really loved this cosplay on her alot. Despite her wings attacking me every chance they got.

Eventually we split up around the con. Tammy wanted to see other peoples and Emma went to see the bf. I totally forgot what I ended up doing though I'm pretty sure I ended up alone for a bit and this is when I started getting creeped on in D.i.a. Unfortunately outfits like this create a lot of unwanted attention. I got harassed by a couple of guys multiple times throughout that day to the point of where I wanted to slap someone.

Afterward I did find Tammy again and AHHHH we ran into Sara, Brian, Danielle, and Dan! They found me and I hardly realized who they were-BECAUSE I AM THAT BLIND. Poor Sara was so freaking sick. I felt so bad for her. We ended up trekking to the Marvel gathering where Tammy witnessed how cosplay gatherings worked. Eventually though I was invited to go eat with someone and their brother at quickly so we parted ways. Fooding was really really nice. Thank you so much for treating even though you didn't have to hun. I would have treated if you would have let me. I appreciate it so much and I was really happy to see you and your bro after so long and was glad you met Tammy. You know who you are! :)

Afterward Jett met up with us and went headed over to Tammy's friend's room for more drinks with Vale as well. The room party ended up getting split up by some random lady and Tammy got a bit loopy. So the boys and Tammy ended up heading back for awhile and I ended up roaming the con by myself. I literally huddled up in a corner of the hallway with an outlet and stayed on the phone with a friend for awhile, I also ended up playing TsumTsum for a good hour.

Tammy, Jett, and Vale came back and we ended up eating at Pizza my Heart (again) because it was the only thing open. We ended up turning in afterward because Jett had a huge race the next day and needed to wake up early.

Sunday I wore Lolita Fashion for the first time in forever. I literally hadn't worn it since Halloween. Wearing the white lolita dress I got from Baby (Cherry Parade's white OP more specifically) was the whole reason I had invested in white Jesus Diamante heels. Honestly I felt like this was my weakest look of the weekend. The older I get the less cute I become. RIP Kawaii me... ;_; Gothic Lolita suits me fine but bright colors just make me look out of place. For part of the day I wore a red wig in hops it would look slightly nicer but blah. Honestly it just didn't work out as nicely as I wanted it to.

First adventure of the day was reuniting with my childhood best friend Isabel who had just graduated from college that weekend (congrats bby girl you're gonna be successful as fuck and be a bad bitch) and Emma joined. We had intended going to Amor but it didn't open until one. We ended up settling for Thirst Tea instead for a boba and dessert fixed.

Some drugged up guy was in their at opening hours and was seriously causing trouble. Emma witnessed her first fist fight I think. I was seriously afraid the guy had a gun after a serious physical fight broke out. I felt so bad for the people working there. There were major weirdos causing trouble all weekend long honestly.

After the guy ran off I still wanted to give the poor staff my business and ended up ordering myself a drink and a shaved ice to share with the ladies. Mango snow with jellies, strawberries, ect. This was also Emma's first shaved ice experience.

Afterward we headed to the con to meet up with Sydney and Bella. Isabel I think went off to find people? I forget but I do remember walking around with Sydney and Bella and dealing with a super creeper situation. That took awhile hindering out plans to head back to Amor so Bella and Sydney could get their fix of stuff on it. 

Amor was starting to get packed and I know Isabel rejoined us at that point. We ate really well and then walked back to the hotel room. Isabel parted with us for the day and we went back up to Emma who was up in the hotel. Tammy rejoined us so she could get her hair curled with her new iron (I can't seem to do hair. make up is forever my forte ;_;) and then Jett joined up with us and died after his long ass race. Eventually I ditched my wig and let Emma play stylist with my hair. She did sucha good job. My hair has such an issue with holding curl though. The wind that weekend didn't help with me using my real hair at all. She did such a good job though. It's so hard for me to pull of cute styles but I tried. I WISH I WAS GOOD AT HAIR. Emma is the hair expert out of all of us!!! Teach me your ways!

Afterward we parted ways with the kouhai and went to Iguana's where Jett and Vale took on the Burritozilla. I have no idea how the fuck they managed it. I got to try Horchata for the first time while I watched (thank you brobro). Jett got through it so much easier than the last round. A lot faster for sure. 

Afterward we met up with Sara, Brian, and Dan!! Ahhh! We first went to go get boba and Thirst Tea. It was a debatable trip at first because my legs and feet were seriously giving out already. Jett and Sara ended up taking turns carrying my fat ass. LOL Was a true bro/sis moment for Jett and I. Sara totally wanted to try afterward too. I'm sorry sweeties if I was too heavy and killed you afterward. ;_; I made it part way through the trip there from the Fairmont onward. 

Boba, people making bird noises, running into frineds, and hotdogs later we were back at the convention center. Everyone ended up playing a really amusing 'spell' game with cards and dice. I just spectated but it was really amusing. While that was going on I ran into Jobi and Shana!! I had ran into Shana earlier into the con that weekend but it was so so nice to be reunited with Jobi! She was wearing the most adorable Liz Lisa coordinate!  I love her current style so much. It super suits her! She needs some Swankiss in her life because I could totally see her wearing it. 

After the game I forgot what we ended up doing. I remember saying goodbye to Ken and meeting Leslie's bf. Then I ended up running into the Kouhai (sorry bbies I got super caught up and attention deficit) and Leslie herself. We ended up talking a lot as everyone roamed around. The con was getting super crazy around that point and eventually around 3/4 we all decided to call it a night because we had to check out of our hotel the next day. 

THE NEXT MORNING... I was truly trying to be ambitious as fuck. I was going to gyaru it and be all pretty. Fuck it. I half assed it. I should have brought comfy clothes and just went with it. I attempted to wear Golds Infinity on the last year without circle lenses and lashes. Straight hair too. I felt like I committed a huge sin. Regardless I rocked it throughout the day and supposedly was a Taylor Swift cosplayer. I got hit on a bit too which was a bit uncomfortable. I got that a bit when I was alone and it always throws me off a bit because I'm clearly not interested and people still try. I'm pretty much to myself and very reclusive. I don't like that type of sexual or romantic attention at all. Makes me squeamish especially if I don't know you or if I am by myself. So a lot of the time when I was by myself i would have to move spaces or be where I couldn't be found so I wouldn't be bothered or to where I would feel safe. I'd try calling a friend on my phone so I could look busy so I wouldn't be bothered by people I didn't know or bothered in that way just because I was alone. I don't see why being alone as a woman makes you a target for being hit on or advances... It's really un-nerving actually and I always feel a bit unsafe or like my kindness gets taken advantage of when I honestly want to tell people like this to 'please fuck off.' Is that bad of me? 

So eventually I ended up meet up with friends or lunch and Isabel joined later. I was super sad the Japanese place wasn't open for lunch so we settled for shit Chinese. Which grew to be really terrible. Like so much regret you guys.....wtf? We walked around a bit parted ways with friends and said many goodbyes.

Eventually a huge group of us went to Mitsuwa for dinner only to figure out it was crowded as fuck with lines. I stocked up on a couple things for the summer now knowing when I would be back down in San Jose. We ended up at this food place called Sumiya. I WAS SO GLAD THEY HAD RAMEN. I had chicken and pizza all weekend long so I was super ready for some soup and salad honestly. It was pretty decent. A bit pricey for something that's not their specialty. I need to be balling to go there again so I can try that potato mochi thing. Their salad was super yummy and the chashu in the ramen was super tender.

A Purple Kow adventure occurred afterward where I stocked the fuck up on boba before heading back home to where I had to recover for two or three days. My feet weren't having it at all. Regardless though, this weekend was really fun. It was my first convention and event for a really long time. I haven't had carefree fun like that since SacAnime Summer 2013, I'll be completely honest. For once my con wasn't filled with shoots or just feeling like things were going wrong. While some things did happen it wasn't something that I feel like was one person's weight alone. A lot of people I think attempted to be a support system for one another when things occurred. I'm super proud of people this weekend too on totally other measures. I'm happy my new friends got to meet mt old friends. I'm happy that we all got to see eachother and reunite. 

I don't know what my next event is but hopefully I can see you guys again in the near future!! Thank you *all* so much for a nice fun weekend. I hope everyone enjoyed their time as much as I did.