Personal: #Adulting-Buying a Car/Life; Infiniti G20, Academics, Gyaru Fashion Milestones, Upcoming Events and Concerts, Life Outings

I haven't done a personal blog entry in awhile, so I thought it might be slightly appropriate to do one since three months have passed since my last one. Not that much has actually happened in terms of me going out and doing events-adult life has literally taken over lately. I feel accomplished after being humbled by failure for such a long time. 

First off, I'm really proud of myself for a variety of reasons. Academically, I had to handle a situation I had never encountered before. In high school and even partially for college, I was never ever given the option of 'if you don't like this teacher, you can just change it.' Last semester I did really well in my math class and I had really impressed myself. I'm absolutely horrible at math. Majority of my high school career was with math teachers who focused more on disciplining the class rather than actually teaching the material that we needed to learn. Usually each instructor left by the next semester or the wasn't there the year after. So I was incredibly convinced by others that I was the problem and not the teacher for a very long time. UNTIL I started college and did well. I learned things I hadn't learned in my high school or middle school classes and it really cleared things up and with a lot of studying, helped me be successful.

And then this semester came and I only had one option for a teacher if I wanted to learn in person. I played it safe by taking math in person because I know my biggest weakness is math. While I did very well on the homework via textbook and all. The professor's English was okay but she wasn't overly great at explaining things. Her lecture notes were absolutely nothing like what we were learning in class. I had studied all weekend thought I would have been okay for the test considering the high scores I had gotten in my homework (that should be a reflection right?) but I got the test and none of it was familiar to what I had studied.

I had immediately felt discouraged and thought I was doomed. If I dropped the class I would mess over myself FAFSA wise and academically. I was depressed for the entire day post-exam. 

What really got my ass in gear is when I got an e-mail the next morning from my school informing me that I had made my college's honors society. This might not big a huge deal considering I go to a JC, but it was such a huge deal to me considering the fact that I intend to transfer to a university eventually. That and I've never made honor's society in high school because while I would have As and Bs in everything else, math would always royally fuck me over. Back then, I couldn't just up and change teachers or the situation even know what a hopeless case it was. I immediately thought to myself, there's no fucking way I'm going to let this math class fuck that label up. My GPA is way too high for that shit. 

I immediately took the initiative to find out if online math classes were the better option from looking online and asking a friend of mine who went through the online experience. I then was sent into a fucking panic- double checking the drop date without penalization for the semester-and then was determined to find an alternative class to fill the space where I dropped. 

After a lot of determination, I found a health class online that I would be required to take eventually that would start when my eight weeks of English hell was over. Meaning I could solely focus on kicking ass in my English class considering last semester I got a B instead of an A and that was just unacceptable to me. 

So with a lot of determination and hope, I dropped my math class (I didn't even wait to get my exam back. I seriously just bounced on out of there) for a health class and intend to take the math class I need online in the fall in hopes of being a lot more successful with a high rated better teacher who is incredibly passionate about their teaching career. I feel like a student's success is not only based upon their efforts but their teacher's efforts as well. I feel really strongly about this because I intend to be an English teacher eventually after college (unless I get some crazy writing job) so anything on teaching starts welling up feelings inside of me. 

I was super impressed with myself. I was able to change a bad situation into a plausibly good one. For anyone who knows me well, typically, I have an intense amount of bad luck and unfortunate events. Usually once I get fucked over or something gets ruined, it's usually a domino effect of more downward spirals that get difficult to crawl out of. I literally have absolutely no faith in myself what-so-ever. The fact that I was able to not have that happen not only relieved me but made me proud. I finally had the power and ability to change something for the better and that's usually pretty rare for me. Usually it's hard for me to take control of a situation. I don't know why, it's just always been that way since I was little. So I pretty much always brace myself for failure and the anxiety that comes before it. It's a weird feeling of 'this is is getting old' to the other side of the spectrum where the feeling never numbs out and you wish you could just chill for once and left life take its course. Regardless, it's done. I fixed it. 

As for my English class, I am currently roasting it in revenge for the B from last semester. Lmao. I currently have a pretty high A and have made sure my essays were super strong. I've been cramming a semester's worth of essays and assignments into an eight week period. Thankfully, I'm very adequate at English.It's my best subject and I wasn't intimidated by the semester work load done in a term instead. 

EDIT: I roasted that class and have a very high A. Get wrecked. <3 Totally my revenge for last semester's course. 

I'm hoping I do very well in my Health class too. I hear that it's pretty simple so that's relieving. I'm most likely going to take Communications/Speech/Debate with a friend next semester. The same friend that took the math class I'll be taking online. Or at least that's the plan! I'm excited to motivate her as much as she will motivate me hopefully. 

And then more adulting happened. I know this sounds really crazy to be twenty-four but seriously hear me out here. Because adulting can sometimes be based on circumstances.

When I was 18/19 I was working on my license stuff. For some reason my parents placed a lot more effort into my brother than me. I did have a car but my brother was driving a lot more for some reason. I don't know if it's just because he was constantly breaking the rules and running it into the ground with my parents but he had gotten his license before me. 

And with that, my parents gave him free reign over my first car which was my practice car. So yet again, with my car always gone, I could never practice. I was pretty against him driving it too because boys and sports cars create an ego and I knew things would go wrong. Plus I had been looking at the Mitsubishi Eclipse since forever. But for some reason my parents made a bad judgement call and my brother totaled my car.

Because of that, my parents further wouldn't let me drive. Why? They didn't want me driving their cars insisting I might wreck their only cars. So for awhile, I was super not motivated to drive. When I attempted to round two an attempt at a permit, I couldn't pass the vision part. My vision had deteriorated even with my glasses (and it still has been doing that now). So here I had the expense of what a car would cost on top of an eye exam with no insurance. I was super discouraged and completely stopped trying.

Until this year. I had gotten glasses two years ago, because of this I could see much better than before. And finally, a deal came up on a car. I won't go into numbers but the mileage and everything was in my price range for a student. On top of that, I knew where the car was coming from/who owned the car so if anything was wrong with it, I knew whom to ask and bother for information.

So, after really being mistreated by someone over Halloween, I was really angry and really motivated to attempt to drive again. Because I got sick of people using me not driving as an excuse to treat me like less of a person. While that shouldn't *ever* happen to someone, because people go through various circumstances in their life, it did. I'm trying to get over being angry about that with people but for some reason its very difficult for to me to do. I'm already insecure and hard on myself as is. For people to validate and elevate those insecurities gets me discouraged or feeling like a horrible person. And the words always repeat in my head. You can forgive people but you can never ever forget for some reason. At least I can't. So it's really gotten me to the point of wanting to prove people wrong and push myself despite my anxieties. A friend shared this picture with me and I couldn't help but chuckle. It was his way of cheering me on through all the fucking shit. It gave me a laugh too because it's pretty much what my brain tells my heart every single fucking time I want to give up on life and say fuck you to everyone and everything. 

Before this semester started, I made another attempt to get my driver's permit. I ran into a couple of hiccups but thankfully for me, I was able to finally be allowed access to drive again via my permit. I was so scared because yet again, I barely passed the vision portion, but I did pass. I'm hoping to eventually up my glasses prescription because that makes me slightly nervous. My vision has just been deteriorating as has my health, I will not lie. I'm only twenty-four going on twenty-five, I am way too young for this shit. It's slightly worrying. Especially being on the road with not so great vision. Especially since you're acciden and failure prone as is. I want to make my experience fool-proof even though I am aware that life does happen. I just want to be a functioning adult..... 

But back to more positive things, as of this week, I got my car!!! Meet my car, Lady Serenity guys! She is a 2002, Infiniti G20, and I am so very happy and grateful to have her. :) I still need to smog it and transfer over the title and such, it's been a process but I feel so very accomplished. It's taken me SUCH a long time to get to this point again, and I'm so glad I was able to. It's another thing I took control over and came out successful after many attempts that had failed. 

I'm glad I was able to rise up after being discouraged for so long. I know I still have a ways to go though. It will feel a lot more real once I go from a permit to license. 

It feels SO WEIRD having access to my car. With the other car my parents controlled the keys and my brother for some reason was given/demanded/stole the spare. So while it had been intended to be my car, it wasn't my car. Or it didn't feel like it. For this car, I have fully PAID for this car. It's fully mine. And the set of keys are mine. There are conditions to my car unfortunately thanks to insurance but you know what? I'll get there eventually. It's hard taking everything on at once. Everything else is my responsibility and it feels nice. 

I can't wait for it to finish raining to I'll be able to clean her up. I'm super excited to place really cute things in my car. I feel like Sailor Mooning it up. ahaha I already have a little keychain charm I was gifted last year of Princess Serenity and I placed it on the keys. Someone asked me what my car's name was and I thought about it really hard, and the name 'Serenity' came up. Ironically, I realized I had the charm of Serenity from Sailor Moon later on. So for whatever reason, it was meant to be. I thought of the name because the car was white and it's a luxury car, lmao so I thought of driving 'serenely' but you get my point. 

I kind of want to place really cute decals on my car. I found silhouettes of Haruka and Michiru but I might just opt to place one of Sailor Moon's brooch's on the gas door thingie. 

Hopefully after a year or so, I'll be able to go places. That's my biggest hope. Right now my goal is just my license and being able to drive to and from school by the fall. 

EDIT: The rain stopped and I finally drove my car this week after getting the title transferred, taxes, ect finished. It was a very bizarre experience. I can't wait to get used to and acquired to the feel of my car. I'm so very nervous on the road. I have a death grip on the steering wheel and approaching cars scare the living shit out of me. Like hello fellow driver, please proceed to go the fuck around me because I am still trying to learn how to not be an idiot in traffic. LOL....Fuck. Anything above 35 mph is the danger-zone and I'm officially a grandma. I'm 60-something in a mid-twenties year old body. No joke. 

As for other life things. I UPDATED MY WARDROBE...kind of. I bought some more stuff because I have been invited to participate in an event coming up in April and needed a couple new pieces because I was told to 'go all out.' I have some other events coming up that I'll mention later in the blog post. As of the time I'm editing this blog post from a week ago; I've purchased more shit. Why? Because I have no self control. And there was a skirt I just HAD to have. =_='

I feel like I'm going through a bit of a style change. A lot more 'Tsuyome' and mature old school style pieces. Last semester I went through a cutesy fix of Liz Lisa and all. This round it was an insane amount of d.i.a. I'm realizing how much I'm growing to love d.i.a and the more sexy and mature styles. I do know why I love Liz Lisa. Because I can dress it the fuck up or down. I think I'm just taking advantage of the fact that my classes are online this semester meaning when I do go out, I go all out on my make up because I am permitted the time to do so. 

This round I bought a lot of fucking d.i.a. I felt like last semester I did a lot of cutesy Liz Lisa pieces and then this year came and BAM! Hooker wear. I found a lot great pieces on my search and I really love them. 

I bought a cute as fuck halter in a really interesting color. This is by car my sluttiest piece in my wardrobe. JFC. It's backless and is held up by lacey ties. My boobs are all out in it and I seriously think it's one of those pieces you can't wear a bra with. The chest piece is fucking padded for a reason. lmao. I adored the rhinestone clasp in the middle and all. It just looked super agejo. But not pink! I don't know how to describe it. It's got freaking gold pinstripes too! If anything imma tape myself into this one.

The next thing from d.i.a I bought was this freaking gorgeous blazer. I absolutely adored it when I saw it. It just barely fits my shoulders but those buttons and cross dangles completely sold me. My one leather jacket died as of last year and I really need a light jacket replacement. I have been wearing my really fluffy d.i.a jacket this winter to keep me warm but sometimes I want a jacket that won't completely take over my outfit.

To make the shipping worth it, I also purchased this really pretty top. I thought this was really cute with the circlets in the from and the off the shoulder long sleeves. It's kind of a mature take on gal I think. I'll probably pair this with a d,i,a belt, jeans, and boots to make a really pretty gal/tsuyome outfit. 

I ALSO made a gal milestone by finally purchasing my first d.i.a belt. It's on the way in the mail!! <3 <3 I've wanted a d.i.a belt for *years* now and I finally found one for a good price and good condition. Usually I am incredibly picky because people will sell them for a really high price and the charms or stones will be missing or they'll be cheap but there will be stones and charms missing. And i really wanted a belt in good condition because it's such a big staple piece to spruce up an outfit. If someone's going to notice it, it has to look good. I ended up purchasing the star one. I really want the moon one with the fluff but I haven't found one in really good condition for a good price so I opted for my second favorite one. This one is also pretty famous as well. I think Skinny Lip and DreamV/Yumetenbo have made dupes of this belt. I'm so happy I found it and got it in good condition. It's super gorgeous. I can't believe I own one of these bitches.I just wanna throw it on everything. lmao 

I also ended up buying a really cute basic fluffy WC skirt. I think this will work well under some of my ma*rs stuff and also for some of my tops I have gotten recently. I think it's SO CUTE and works with so many things. Works very well for agejo. I love basic pieces like this because I can really mix and match to my heart's desire. 

For the second round of purchases I bought a skirt I just HAD to have. It wasn't even for sale when I saw it and I fucking camped the site to ensure it was mine. I doesn't say that it's d.i.a... Matter of fact there's no tag in this skirt to verify where the fuck it's from. But it looks like d.i.a. I saw a girl rock a skirt similar a year ago and I've been longing for one ever since. I love the lacing at the waist, the chains with feathers at the side, and the clasps at the two slits on the side. I'm MOST LIKELY going to wear this bitch to the Gazette. It's long enough for me to feel safe enough to not get felt up in (what is up with people grabbing asses in crowds? Like can we not please?) and dark enough to be appropriate to wear to a rock concert. :) And yet it's still very me and very gal. I'm eager to see how I can coordinate this! 

The next piece I DID buy was d.i.a. I saw this for no joke, 6.00 and grabbed at it. It was stupid cute and actually, way cuter in person versus the stock photo. Ironically I flipped through an old EGG magazine I own and saw a model with the same exact top in a teal colorway instead of the white one I have. It comes in a set. With the halter comes matching shorts. Honestly, I think the shorts are a bit gaudy so I'm happy just to have the top. The print is super summery. It gets crazy hot out here so I'm excited to wear this with jeans or shorts. It's got a gartery/harness looking thing in the back. Rounded gold studs near the top of the chest lining. And in PERSON the blue jean bits sparkle. They have glitter on them, which is such a beautiful touch. I'm so in love!! I liked this more than I had intended to. It takes a bit to get into it because I have boobies. TAT god dammit. 

Last piece I got was a legit Ma*rs piece. Yet again, I got this for stupid cheap. 5.00 cheap. For a one piece. What. A. Fucking. Snag. Like I said, I'm keeping my place where I get stuff private for personal reasons. But I'm telling prices because for some reason people take joy shitting all over me thinking I spend obscene amounts of money. Nope. I'm a smart shopper and my pieces are all thrift now a day. :) I haven't went flagship boutique store shopping in ages. Mainly because I have an immense appreciation for old-style gyaru pieces versus the new stuff. I do adore certain prints and brands from this fashion era but nothing will dilute my love for old era Ma*rs, Liz Lisa, d.i.a, ect. I'll take that any day. When I saw this piece I had to have it. I saw a d.i.a piece that was similar but it was 17.00 and sleeveless. So I decided to opt for the cheaper Ma*rs one that's basically the same style. This onepiece honestly for some reason, reminds me of something Namie Amuro would wear. No idea why. The only down side to this piece is that it's white and that I have curves. Lmao. White bras and panties it is. That and maybe leggings or safety shorts because baby somehow got a "back" within a year. Which while it's trendy in the states, I don't embrace it at all. I'll donate it. I want to fit into mini-skirts without looking like a music video booty dancer thanks. LOL 

I'm really really thrilled with all of my purchases. I've noticed that I have diversified my wardrobe a lot in the past year. My biggest inspiration was some close to me. I would look in their closet and half of it would be brand and I would just marvel at it. I really showed how hard they had worked to achieve all of that. It was like looking at a museum full of beautiful clothes. Now I think they have an entire closet full of fucking brand. But I used to be so inspired by them and how hard they worked to get that type of wardrobe together. I have gotten my closet half full of brand now. Unlike the person I looked up to, mine is a lot more diverse and colorful. ahaha... But I am a girl so maybe that helps too! 

I have collected a lot of different styles and brands for each occasion and I really feel accomplished looking at how much my closet has grown in the past year. It's really something else. I'm so blessed to be able to partake in my hobbies and all. Clothes and make up are what probably makes me the happiest outside of adventuring to places/fooding and such. Back when I was younger I was really inspired by other people I saw in the community or just by my friends and how they would have really nice pretty things. Not exactly for the sake of materialism but for the fact that all of those things were a part of them and contributed to who they were as a person. I think someone's make up vanity and especially their closet/clothing selection really tells you a lot about a person. Make up wise it's tools for the artwork to really compliment the clothing but the clothing is what really reveals someone's soul I think. 

I don't know. I used to be so inspired by other people. Now a day, I look back and I feel like I am that person. I know a lot of people have changed since those days and I have kind of slowly morphed into the girl I always wanted to be when I was younger. I've grown to like other things too but my style and desires are pretty consistent I think. I'm just attracted to detailed pretty things and have been since i was younger. I see my style being unchanging but I can also see myself adding more mature pieces in. Make up wise, I know I've improved a lot based on me buying a lot of new things to try out. 

Shopping may be a bit materialistic or selfish per-say, but it's really helped transform me as a person and has helped me improve. Especially in terms of the fashion. I really liked how crazy and heavy my make up was way back when but I also really appreciate how I've learned about different techniques and styles to really clean up my look and make it more so of what I wanted it to be. :) 

So why have I bought all of these clothes as of recent? Especially d.i.a?

I have gotten invited to a J-Fashion Fashion Show for the San Francisco Japan Town Cherry Blossom Festival. It takes place April where I'll potentially get to coordinate an outfit and kind of represent J-Fashion stuff on the gyaru spectrum. That's if I end up going.  I am pretty excited if I do end up going because I've really invested a lot of thought into a perfect outfit.. I want to shock people honestly. I've always done gyaru before but not like this. Not like the piece I'm intended to wear to the festival. I've been coordinating/wanting to get an outfit coordinated like this for years and it's finally happening. Regardless if I do this fashion show, I do have this outfit and whenever I wear it, I want to give my absolute all. 

I haven't done anything like this in a long while and I was really shocked that I was asked. I was told to go all out so I decided to hell with my clothes right now, and bought some new stuff to play with. I haven't modeled in years. I haven't done any projects in the longest time. And since some falling outs, ever since, I felt like my confidence was stolen and my identity was taken along with it. Doing photoshoots and coordinating outfits used to be a huge part of my pride. It made me feel like I was capable of doing something right for some reason... I feel alive when I'm able to place effort into an outfit, dress crazy, and convey things that have been in my head since my high school days. I get lost in shit like that. And I've missed doing those things a lot and miss meeting like-minded people who have the same passions as I do and have the same drive to be creative. It's been something that I've been lacking in my life for awhile. It made me lose myself....once it was gone, I didn't know what to do with myself. It's actually why I began actively blogging again personally. It was a way to channel all my interests and loves somewhere. It was an attempt to pass time by myself in the privacy of my own room without judgement. 

Basically, this fashion show...me revamping my wardrobe. It feels like a revival. A revival of a new and improved me fashion wise. Even in other aspects of my life. But if I do it, I really want to portray being confident again. Like these two/three years have been me, working on me. Because basically, it has been. 

Ontop of that, I am going to the Gazette concert in San Francisco in May and I'm super excited for that. Now mind you, I've been feeling iffy about the Gazette's newer stuff-until Dogma came out. I loved Dogma and I've talked about the album here even because I liked it so much. And then ironically it seemed like when my love for the Gazette came back, the world tour was announced and I kind of flipped my shit. The Gazette has always been a bucket list item of mine in terms of concerts. I've always told people, the only band I'm willing to get hit for is the Gazette.. I still don't know about getting hit for it in the midst of crazy ass fangirls (no thanks pls I just wanna be close enough to see because my ass is short) but I haven't gone to a concert in a while that wasn't already connected to an event. My last J-Rock concert was literally Miyavi in 2010 back when I was eighteen and just out of high school. I literally haven't went to anything venue wise since.

It's a bit exciting. The whole V-Kei movement here in the US has really transformed into something completely different from what I remember it. It kind of reminds me why I kind of stuck to gal and lolita and kept to myself when it's came to the social aspect of it or the people, but slowly I've realized that most comms are like that now too. I won't lie. I am slightly anxious about that bit. But I'm not there for the social aspect or the people, I'm there to see the damn band and get the fuck out of there afterwards. LMAO and maybe enjoy SF for a bit because San Francisco is truly my home. I'm secretly hoping the SF crowd shows how great SF can be at the concert. Pray no dumb shit goes down. ahaha

At first I was debating whether I was going to dress up or not. I was really determined to find some Tutuha shit but it never really showed up in my search. It seems like every time I find Tutuha, it's when I don't have money. Fuck dammit. So I kind of decided to opt for d.i.a in hopes it would work out better considering what my style is anyway. I don't want to dress up too much at the concert considering that it IS a rock concert. However a good friend of mine told me, this is probably the one opportunity where it's appropriate to go all out and be a glam badass. And I thought about it and then yeah... Why not? I'll probably keep my outfit simple and wear my hair down but have nice make up on. That's the hope at least. 

Like I said, I'm pretty stoked for the concert. I feel like I'm doing so many neat things and adult life shit this year... 2016 you've started out decently so far, don't hurt me now. lmao 

btw nobody ask me about Fanime. If I go it will be some last minute yolo shit or something. I have no idea. I'm not holding my breath for it this year. I've been asked a ton already if I am going and I keep having to tell people I have *no idea* because rooming/hotel is just depressing and insane. I've had to be responsible and get some shit together this year obviously so my expenses are a bit limited versus the other times I've went. I can afford to go but paying 200.00 for a far away motel that I'd hardly be in just doesn't sound at all worth the trouble. I'm literally there to see friends to wtf...? This will most likely be the first time ever that I don't go. Which I'll admit, is depressing to think about. Especially when you see people having fun the weekend of and you feel super duper left out. =_= Word of advice don't do that shit. Make your friends feel wanted/not forgotten because most likely you rubbing it in their face that you're having a good time without them is just making them feel worse than they already do. lmao don't be that guy. 

 If I didn't hate LA and the experiences I've had in LA every time I have went..as well as how fucking expensive it is-I wish I could some how make Anime Expo the consolation prize for missing Fanime. Oh wells. Hopefully J-Pop Summit or some shit will be possible and hopefully have good guests. -fingers crossed- 

Another thing I did this week was figure out shit opened in my area speaking of traveling and social independence. Sno-Crave's been open since August but since then my little town has gotten a Blaze Pizza (hello 7.00 pizza with as many toppings as you want), a gelato place, Dunkin Donuts (omfg coffeeeeee), and now a fucking T4. I'm not paying 6.00 for boba with pudding now. Sno-Crave I love you for that Shaved Ice fix and you have a lot that T4 doesn't have. But T4 has takoyaki and that is a deal breaker. Takoyaki and Okonomiyaki are my favorite foods in the world. I've been having to travel to Sacramento and the Bay Area...hell even Stockton, to get my fix. The fact that I can finally GO DOWN THE STREET to get it, is such a huge deal. I'm so happy. Not only because things are accessible (and will be more so when I am driving on my own) but it means that there's reasons for people to visit and hang out down here. Even if it's just to eat and get fat. Beforehand friends and I have to go to other cities but the fact that I have places here to offer them now is a very nice feeling. I haven't had that in such a long time. Six years actually. While all my friends are very far away from me, it's nice to be able to say 'If you visit we can go here to catch up or play Jenga or whatever' lmao. 

Speaking of socialization-

I went out to socialize with a fellow adult for the first time in ages and we hit Sno-Crave in my area for boba tea and snacks. I got a matcha icecream drink with boba and pudding. Along with that Sno-Crave recently started making some bomb ass calamari and I was all down for that. I had like...two fucking orders because it was so good. -sobs- 

It was also SUPER nice talking to my old classmate. She sent me home with a fuck ton of make up she didn't need. I don't know what it is about friends and contributing to my cosmetic hoarding problem but they do. I literally have no space on my desk for it all. Instead of contributing make up they should contribute those desk shelves/organizers so I can build up so I have space to place shit. :P jk I'll buy one for myself! It's just a matter of doing that or deciding to break and buy myself a fucking proper vanity table with drawers. Which probably makes more sense honestly. 

Because of all the make up I've gotten, I'll most likely be doing a lot more make up tutorials as well with different looks. I have so many colors to play with. 

I personally bought myself, not one. Not two-BUT THREE NYX Liquid Lingerie lipsticks. Liquid Lipsticks have been a huge deal in the beauty world lately and the NYX ones are 7.00. I couldn't beat that. I adore them. The three colors I purchased were Embellishment (a mauve-y purple), Honeymoon (a cool-toned gray brown), and Lace Detail (a nude muted pink). I absolutely ADORE these. They hardly transfer and set well. The texture is great too. I couldn't wait to use these for gyaru looks. Specifically d.i.a ones. When I went out with my friend, I tried it out with a d.i.a top and jeans. 

I seriously got compliments on my make up and top all day when I went out. Online and in person. It was such a nice confidence boost. I really do like this look on me. I got new contacts to SEE WITH recently and they're a big different in diameter. Less dolly, more sexy mature. I think they work well with this type of make up. I'm wearing the 'Honeymoon' color in the picture. I really loved how it kind of matched the print on my top well. Because my lips were so bold, I stuck to having a pretty glittery but neutral eye look. Which also really enhanced the 'Glamorous Eye' Diamond Lashes I wore. Those lashes are everythingggggg.  

Another thing I accomplished this week was a bit of a life style change. Last weekend, I wasn't feeling to great. So instead of sulking I attempting to change my energy but totally rearranging my room. I'm not completely finished cleaning. Maybe I'll film a room tour once I do. But basically I threw my desk in a different corner of my room. My dresser is now under my bed and I threw my mirror and hair supplies near my make up desk area. My bag tower is appropriately near my closet and door. :) This has made my room look loads brighter and a lot more spacier than before. So far I'm super loving it. I'm really hoping it will be easier to film in my new make up space and take easier selcas and outfit pictures either with my mirror or blank wall space. 

Right now, I'm really trying to take charge of things and make improvements where I can. Some things are out of my control but I'm really trying my best to be optimistic and take whatever life hurls at me. Lately I've been trying to make negative things positive or channel it somehow. It's never easy and sometimes honestly, I have to go through the motions. As humans do. Like I said, somethings never fade or change. Certain things, people, decisions will impact people. But I've really tried hard to kind of regain bits of myself that I've lost. Pieces that I've lost in a six year time frame thanks to moving and loads of other bullshit. I can say circumstances can change and impact things that you intend to do. And that's what happened. Life Shit happens. It's unavoidable. People need to keep that in mind not only for others but also when it comes to themselves. We should be more forgiving of ourselves and our mistakes or shortcomings. Those things aren't bad. They make up who we are. Someone who loves and cares  about us, will embrace that and never truly leave us I feel. Because one day, you grow out of that. You grow out of your life or your habits. And I feel like that's what has been happening with me recently. I'm trying to truly regain a bit of my old personality from high school but in more positive ways and more wiser ways now that I am older. Gaining my confidence back and the drive to be more proactive or have a back bone has probably been the most challenging but I think I'm slowly getting there. 

I've been distracting myself a lot and healing myself with the things I love. I feel like what I've recently put out there energy wise has been given back to me. I wish for things and they slowly work out. Which is nice. If I'm willing to put the work in or hope enough, things go okay. Like socializing, or driving, or doing a look or style I wanted to do, owning the things I thought I couldn't, having places come out here that I miss being accessible. It's little tiny petty things that shouldn't be a huge deal. But they are to me and I'm so very appreciative. 

Hopefully in the future I'll have more to blog about. More to say and do. More awesome people to introduce you to. 

Anyway, this blog is getting lengthy and ranty. It's a bit of a heart to heart this round and I hope none of you minded. Doing a lot of talking. It's 5:00 in the morning now, and I super appreciate you if you've read this far! I hope you guys didn't mind the catching up since I hadn't done one in three months or so. I felt like I had a lot to talk about and say. 

Until next time guys! <3 

Etude House: Berry Delicious Collection

As always, I've been on a ridiculously huge Etude House fix and had to purchase some things from the newest line that released a couple of weeks ago. This one was completely justified however because the entire damn line was strawberry themed and my favorite fruit happens to be strawberries. On top of that, I've really been wanting some pink/red eye shadows and the Strawberry Fondue eye shadow palette had exactly what I was looking for. 

At first when I saw the promotion, Krystal (from f(x) ) looked gorgeous. In the CMs each prouduct featured was super highlighted on her and it really sold me. The blush also looked really pretty as well as the palettes and the lippies.

I had some other stuff to invest in for events (as well as some life stuff that I might talk about in another blog) so I decided to skip out on the lippies and go straight towards the blush and the palette since they weren't colors I already had in my make up collection.

First off, the palette is really pretty. It's really compact and comes with a mirror, so its great to throw in a bag for traveling. The outside design is a collaboration with a Korean clothing brand Margarine Fingers. I thought it was super cute with the strawberrys on it! 

As for the colors, you get six colors. Two mattes, one glittery satin, and three glittery shades. All the colors are red toned save for the white in the middle that is used for the inner corners or a high light color. 

Personally, I really adore this palette. The colors really pack a punch. The browns are great for an all over the lid color or even a crease shade for transition if the pinks or reds get too harsh. The reds are to die for. I know it's been a super huge trend in Japan and Korean to rock red eye make up and under eye blush and this line really hits the nail on that red. I adore the glittery red the most. It's everything I wanted in an eye shadow and some. The satin pink is also gorgeous if you want a more toned down red with less glitter. The white shade is also great for the tearbag look. 

This is going to be my go to palette for awhile. I wore the eye shadows all day and none of them faded or creased with primer. 

As for the blush here is my two cents on it. 

Etude House and a couple of bloggers claimed this was a 'cream blush' but there was nothing really cream about it. It's a powder consistency but the powder puff you use IS a very interesting consistency, which is something interesting to talk about I am sure. 

The blush is incredibly pigmented. At the least the red color is. It's a nice strawberry color and should be applied with a light hand. The powder puff does apply the product and blend it perfectly. Using a brush some how doesn't work/doesn't apply well so I suppose that's also where the cream consistency claims come from. Another pro is that IT SMELLS LIKE STRAWBERRIES! ahhhh!!! 

The only con? This shit doesn't have a mirror. Which is a bit of a pain if you want to touch up and you don't have a table surface to touch up from. Your hands are too occupied applying and holding you damn blush to be carrying a mirror. Oh wells. 

Here is what both products look like on me. I tried out all the red colors because that was what I was looking forward to the most. I also have the blush on but it's super subtle because my skin just was dying for some reason that day. I don't know why it is or if it's stress but every time I have something important to do, my skin decides to crap out. And then when I have nothing important to do at all, my skin is perfect. wtf?

I decided just to wear subtle lashes to show what the eye make up looked like for this blog. Plus I was out running errand so unfortunately I couldn't do anything too crazy right now. I'm wearing Decolog eye lashes in 'Sweet' and Dollywink number 5s for the bottom lashes. One day I'll do a proper Harajuku-esque look with this make up since that's what I think it's perfect for. 

In all, I really adore this line a lot. I'll probably be super depressed when I hit pan because I was SO EXCITED for this shit to release and then come to me in the mail. This has probably been one of my most favorite lines out of all of the Etude House stuff that's released recently, other than the Play 101 Sticks which I equally adore. 

I think video does the eye shadows better justice so here is the video review I did for both products below, though I think I'm better at writing about this shit than talking like the awkward person I am.. lol