First Time Outside of my Neighborhood in a Year with Ichigo + Future Aspirations after the Ending of Semester+ Sakura Goodies and Tech Investments

 I had a look planned for today and my time of the month decided to tell me, "fuck no"-so I thought I'd make up for it by writing a post instead since I can't be productive in other ways. 

Usually, I do monthly posts because my life isn't that interesting? Like most of the time guys, it's been a ton of schoolwork or me being a total potato because I'm tired from said schoolwork. This online learning deal has made me be extremely tired of being hunched over my laptop if that makes any sense? But then I have to edit or create content for ya'll on said computer so it's been a bit of a task for a minute as I just got on break around two weeks ago or so? 

Plus, anything you do read, you've most likely heard about through Instagram or a video already. I do monthly do that way I have more to talk about. I know a lot of gals do really short to the point blog posts, but I'm a little different. Some of ya'lls like the blog stuff so I do it so you guys can indulge. I miss blogging culture though. Back in the day, I used to be all about this blog and even beforehand, I had a Livejournal and a Xanga for god's sake. LOL. I was that bitch at one point and then decided that I really liked video and picture content creation more as soon as I had a camera.

However, blogging is comforting. I don't have to be made up to the nines like I have to be in pictures or a video. I can just write on down days like these you know? 

Anyway, my summer vacation has finally begun. I *finally* have time on my hands and I'm a little shook. I'm so used to just being stressed or having shit I need to do that it feels odd to be slowing down. I so feel like I need to enjoy it though. This is my last summer vacation ever before I join the workforce and don't get nearly as long of a time off. I'm very lucky because I've been permitted a lot more down time than the average person thanks to being a student for so long. However, I'm really eager to make income and be able to travel and do stuff maybe. That's probably naive of me considering student loans and stuff but I think I just want to be able to make progress in my life in a different way. 

Speaking of progress, I made straight As! This is actually kind of wild because this school year sucked ass. My school is okayish but the way they've handled this pandemic has truly frustrated me. I kind of settled for this university because it was the cheaper option compared to the Bay Area. However, the more time I spent away from Sacramento, the more I realized that I didn't fit there. I missed the Bay Area and realized that my heart truly is left in San Francisco. 

There's nothing wrong with Sacramento but when you have to function in "normal" places without friends, it's a little harder. I realized how different I was there and how easier it was for me to make friends at San Francisco State as a freshman versus Sacramento State as a junior. I think if I pursued my master's degree, I'd most likely transfer to my previous university. I love how Sacramento is a bit more laid back but honestly? I love really big cities. As a creative, that's where I'd thrive. I'm an English major after all and even though I'm 30 and should be wanting to settle down, I have no desire to. I have no significant other. I have no desire for children in the future. I don't want that white picket fence lifestyle with a bunch of wine clubs and soccer moms who bond while their kids are in school/daycare. It's never been my vibe so the suburbs have never been appealing for me. 

I live in an area like that now (but in the middle of nowhere) and it's extremely isolating as a 30-year-old single person who is perhaps a little bit behind on life. I like to comfort myself by reminding myself that it's better that I made the decisions in my mid to late 20s because I'm not an impulsive kid making big financial decisions without knowing who exactly I am. I've had time to do some self-reflection and experiment around with jobs, living spaces, and people to really figure out where I am happiest. I haven't gotten it all figured out yet but I think at my age I handle things a lot better than I would if I had been 21. I don't care about what other people are doing around me or what milestones they are hitting in comparison to me. I'm just living for me and following my own path and making the right goals set for me. People can judge me all they want but at the end of the day, I'm truly living my life for me. I'm not living it for other people and other people aren't living my life. 

SF is kind of in turmoil right now due to the pandemic but my hope is that if I ended up staying in the US, that I would be rewarded for wanting to live thereafter so many people fleed/dipped out of SF. The rent just needed to go down a little bit more of I need to get paid that sweet sweet Bay Area income in order to thrive properly. Sometimes I just look at apartment complexes just keep informed or wonder about the prospect of living said area. For now, the goal is Tokyo or at least somewhere in Kantou. LOL. I want to live in a different country for a little while just for the experience. I'm extremely privileged to be able to entertain that prospect and go after that dream. Technically, I would have graduated this semester but I'm getting my certificate in TESOL/TEFL so I can better teach English abroad in Japan. I feel like I'd be a better candidate with that under my belt. I want to entertain other job prospects later on in life but teaching was always my goal to start with honestly. I always thought it would be high school English literature but given the fact that I'd need to go to graduate school (and wouldn't even get a masters for that nonsense) and I can't afford that, I think going abroad is my next best option. 

Gosh my blogs are so serious with future prospects each time. I hope I'm not boring ya'll too much with it. I just feel like maybe if I write it down and work hard that I can somehow manifest it all into my wheelhouse. haha...

Anyway, on Saturday I had to go get my first dose of the vaccine. I chose the Pfizer one because that's the one being distributed in Japan apparently (just in case there's some type of discrepancy when I try to yeet), plus that one had the least wait time in between. I have a rather hefty to-do list over my final. After the vaccine, I need to take care of some health things. Mainly filling some cavities (I had a filling pop out during the pandemic and it's made that tooth eat shit) and getting a proper eye exam. I think I mentioned how I didn't want to buy new circle lenses until I figured out my new pointage, so I've just been wearing my holy grail Mimi lenses for a little bit while I wait it out. Then after all of that, I want to start working on getting my passport that way I can travel. 

But first comes first, I want to get my vaccine out of the way. Ichigo ended up helping me with this ordeal and I am *super grateful* about that because I don't drive. I don't live near ANYTHING and without their help, this wouldn't have happened. I live in a weird situation that I'm trying to get out of in regards to family, so sometimes I really do have to rely on my friends in order to get anything accomplished. It's extremely frustrating to have to rely on others (it places a dent in my pride, not gonna lie) but I know that soon, it won't be like that and I'll possibly have more control over my circumstances. Especially if I have income in order to send myself to other places that are more accessible to a non-driver. 

I blogged the adventure Ichigo so some of you already know the gist of it. I ended up going to Riteaid thinking nobody would think to go there because it's kind of in a weird location in my town. There was only one pharmacist doing the shots so we actually waited for-fucking-ever and I was grateful that I did a last minute outfit change with more comfortable shoes because I truly would have ate shit with the original plan. 

Speaking of my outfit, I did a really neat classic himekaji style look that I'm quite proud of. I've been waiting to do an orange look for FOREVER. -yodels- Orange isn't done a lot but whenever I do see an orange himekaji look, it leaves a huge impression on me because it's not a color that everyone just up and fucks with. 

I got this outfit way back in the wintertime and recently purchased some shorts to go under it as well as some cowboy boots. Would ya'll believe me if I said not one part of this whole getup is legit brand items at all? This is ALL from Aliexpress. The boots, the shorts, the top/dress thingie, the flowers in my hair, the eyelashes. All. Of. It. 

Honestly, this proves how accessible gyaru fashion is if you just *look around* and do your research. This whole e-girl thing combined with gyaru isn't gyaru. It's e-girl for a reason. There's a lot of Aliexpress items that really do look like Liz Lisa, ma*rs, and d.i.a but you have to coord them a certain way to really pull it the fuck off. People really did assume I was wearing all Liz Lisa that Saturday and I wasn't! haha... 

I used to back in the day go to these cheapy Chinese/Korean owned Asian fashion stores for my gyaru wear because overseas just somehow really values cuteness or intricacy better than the United States does so I really was able to find pieces that looked like Liz Lisa without it being Liz Lisa all the time. Same applies to Aliexpress. If you search around you'll really find what you're looking for. It's just a matter of coordinating it in a way that looks gyaru rather than looking like whatever they have shown as the stock image on Ali or what you see people on the internet wearing. 

I think a lot of the advice going around by really skilled gaijin gyaru applies here. Don't look at other gaijin gyaru for inspiration fully. Look at models. Pay attention to specific eras if you really wanna pop off. However, I will say be careful trying to look exactly like models. I think it's good to do to start with but then after awhile, pay attention more to specific fashion eras or add your own style to it that is cohesive with the look. You don't want to be doing a model cosplay after all! :P 

Sometimes I try to emulate models and other times I try to do my own thing. I think for this orange look I was trying to combine the 2007 era with a bit of 2009/2010 I think in regards to himekaji/LL. I feel like the orange color was pretty big in 2009/2010. There's a pretty infamous picture of Kumicky in some orange coordinates that I like and there's this one dress/top set that also is pretty famous and has orange in it from that time. Also the cowboy boots definitely reminded me of that era of Liz Lisa that was a little bit romantic/boho/western all at the same damn time. 

The flowers and updo was me trying to pull a 2007 where my hair and make up was way more princessy. I feel like 2010 was lightening up a little bit already. Honestly, the hair and make up was supposed to go with an outfit that included Jesus Diamante and really old Liz Lisa that I have that is also orange but I made last-minute outfit change with Ichigo who validated the decision by insisting that the outfit I went with was casual and way cuter for the occasion! So I intended to do an older vibe but went newer but my make up and hair was the intention of doing an older thing.

This was also my first time doing full on updo. I don't use extensions or anything so I don't get to do a lot of fun stuff. My hair is a weird range of colors right now. My natural color isn't a consistent color and honestly throwing bleach in has made it more consistent but I can't commit to the upkeep of full bleach on a student budget so it truly is what it is. LOL. Most of my hairstyles are flukes/experimentations. I was trying to give myself a mini him bump so I could throw the flowers I recently bought off of Ali in and hey, it ended up working surprisingly. The back was a little ugh but you know what? It is what it is when you're doing your hair yourself and don't have the help of extra hands and hair. It wasn't too terrible!

Make-up wise, I messed around with orange makeup. I did kind of a neutral eye with a pop of orange. The bling under the eyelashes made a return because I swear to you, THAT is my current makeup boom ever since I got the magazines where Tsubasa does it-so now it's THE the thing to do. The blush is a Canmake blush I own in a bright orange color. I really want a dupe of the Candy Doll "Carrot Orange" color because it's got some type of yellow hue to it but alas, I cannot find a dupe. </3 For the lips I did a really fun thing. I recent purchased the HolikaHolika Devil's Lip Plumper set and when I tell you this shit works, I mean it. Holy fuck. Too Faced's "Lip Injection" shit doesn't have ANYTHING on this Holika Holika one. It hurts a little but but omg it makes your lips huge. I wore it under my Jill Stuart lipstick and I think it worked out pretty well. If my lips looked different in pictures, then hi: that's why. I used a bomb lip plumper. I super recommend it. 

After my vaccine, Ichigo and I headed over to a city next to mine to hit up a plaza that has a lot of Asian goodies. They had never tried Bonchon before and was tempted from my vlog from where I stayed in my dorm room alone last year. I told them if I was ever on campus again, we'd hit Bonchon. However, I never ended up going back to my campus due to COVID, so we hit up another Bonchon for Korean fried chicken nearby. However, when we got there it was their close-up time until dinner hours. SO we had to stall around.

We ended up going to Ranch 99 to get snacks for our respective houses. I ended up buying fuck tons of tea because I always end up drinking more than I do eat. I got from Strawberry flavored Royal Milk tea because I love strawberry flavor. I also have same tea in the peach flavor at home. <3 I've also tried to sakura flavored one. I got some Itoen Jasmine and Matcha milk teas. Some regular green teas from Yeo in juice boxes (that stuff is my shit man, I grew up drinking these in my teenagehood). I also got some Japanese fruit jellies (lycheeeee) and some more rice wine and sakura flavored chips from the Chinese Lays brand because apparently I'm psychotic and love that flavor profile. ahaha. I think it's an acquired taste! I had to eat it a couple of times before I liked it. 

When I posted the chips on Insta a lot of people comments about them saying they were super cute because the pringles can style has the chips be pink! 

Ichigo got some mochi flour and recently made some cool looking mochi donuts. Wahhh. I'm inspired. I wanna try. They also got lots of nori and lychee drinks. ahaha. 

Afterward, we still had time to stall around so we hit up a boba placed called Happy Lemon. I've tried it once when my friend Janelle visited me back before my birthday last year. However, I hadn't ever tried it myself! I got a strawberry black tea (we have a boba shortage so I don't think they were doing boba here -sad-) and Ichigo got a mango concoction. It was suuuuper yummy. I really like the flavor of the Happy Lemon teas at least the one I've had. It's very refreshing even though there are not many customized options like iTea and T4. 

We tried hitting up 85c for some goodies (I'm never ever near 85c Bakery anymore and it breaks my heart. I used to loiter around at 85c and Paris Baguette while chatting with friends. We'd order cake, tea, and just sit talking and I miss it direly) but they didn't have ANYTHING. They were basically sold out of most things and the line for everything else was gross so we got the fuck out of there. 

We ended up stalling around outside until Bonchon opened. Which was good because we hit it up right before there was a dinner rush. We both got boneless chicken and ended up getting different sides for us to share. I really like Japchae so I got that and Ichigo got some french fries. I honestly thing I made the better choice. :P The fries were okay but the japchae slapped. 

We got back to my place and set some stuff up to watch High&Low together. 

I think I've gushed about High&Low before. It literally got me through lockdown when I was staying alone at my dorm. It's such a fun j-drama/movie series and I super recommend it if you like bosozoku/gang/yakuza shit and EXILE TRIBE. hahah. I basically converted Ichigo into the Church of Exile and we've been having SO MUCH FUN spazzing out over this shit. 

It's been nice rewatching the series with a friend and fangirling over it all over it again. It's fun gushing about stuff even outside of fashion stuff. We like a lot of similar fashion and music things and it's overall just....really really fun to talk to someone about a variety of different things. Especially out of fashion considering that I feel like studying and fashion is all anyone knows me for. 

We basically watched ALL of the season one in one go. We first started watching on my laptop because it wasn't dark enough for my projector and then eventually we moved to watching the rest of it on the projector. So far, we've gotten up to movie 1 together. I've watched the whole thing just to say so it's fun torturing my friend knowing stuff's gonna happen and that they're not readyyyy. 

Afterward, Ichigo went home and that was most of that day.

It was so nice socializing and just leaving my fucking neighborhood. I've been so sick of seeing the same shit for a year straight with no break. I'm really eager to do more stuff this summer since restrictions are loosening up. However, I have a lot of things I need to take care of and I also have to be mindful because I'm trying to also save up for Japan. So I might be hermitting a bit more just to save on expenses since I'm trying to have a bigger adventure than usual if I just stay disciplined. 

Speaking of video stuff though, I got myself a cool little photography/videography gadget that I am very excited to play with. It's called a gimbal and it creates really smooth cinematic shots for your videos. Basically, it's a camera stabilizer. I first started seeing them used in a lot of the Japan walking videos that I like to immerse myself into in order to relax. However, I noticed that some vloggers use them to get incredible sceneic shots or even bomb outfit pics or whatever. It's like...a tripod on crack. There's a lot of different gimbals out on the market but I invested in the best of the best. I got the DJI OM4 as my tool of trade. It's hard to enjoy right now on my dying iPhone X (the battery is giving way and the clamps balance where the volume buttons are so it's chaotic right now) but I'm hoping when I invest in the new iPhone 13, that I'll be able to have a lot more fun with this gadget. 

I mainly got it for vlogging purposes. I'm hoping to travel soon and I just thought it was such a cool little gadget to have in order to have really stable shots. Plus, it got a reverse mode for selfies and if I throw it on a tripod, there's a tracking feature where the phone will follow me-which is pretty awesome for things like cooking or maybe showing you guys my styling videos using my wardrobe in the future? We'll see. I haven't gotten to play with it too much but I'm looking forward to doing more with it. 

I also want to go outside of a work trip just because believe it or not, I've never gotten to travel or take a proper vacation outside of a con. I think it would be a really nice experience for me. My family has never taken a vacation fully and I feel like it's up to me to do anything if I want any type of new experience. It would be so awesome to go there during the cherry blossom blooming season especially. I'm all about urban exploring but how beautiful does it feel to have hints of nature in places with the trees?

Plus, all the sakura-flavored goodies! A couple of months ago I bit the bullet and indulged a little bit by purchasing the Strawberry Sakura Strawberry instant lattes that are super limited edition to Japan. It was wayyy too tempted. Those are two of my favorite flavor profiles combined. I love strawberries and I love trying lots of sakura flavored things (I had mochi for New Year that was sakura flavored and I also had the Lays chips in sakura. I also recently purchased sakura bath salts-so 2021 has truly been spring time for me!). The latte is absolute CRACK. I love this flavor profile so much. It tasted and smelled nostalgic for some reason and I can't put my finger onto why it did but I loved it. Also what the actual fuck Japanese Starbucks? Their instant lattes froth perfectly and aren't a syrupy flat mess. I'm saving my last three sticks for special occasions before the expiry date. I also gifted Ichigo with one of them and my sakura x matcha Pocky as well because it's a good combo together. 

I recently filmed two videos that should be coming out soon. One is part two of the May 2007 Popteen flip-through and the other is me being a personal shopper/stylist for ya'll on Aliexpress. I mentioned earlier that I was good at that sort of thing, so I thought I would help some "baby gals" out on their gal journey with some affordable items. I'm pretty protective of my brand name things and won't be helping in that realm (I always say there's great reward in finding your own treasures) but I thought that Aliexpress is fair game. Especially since a lot of new kids are trying to utilize it and may be over-looking a lot of stuff that could legitimately help them improve. 

I'll explain my reasonings behind some of the items I chose in my video for reference. I think a lot of people even with brands tend to have this tendency to think "ooh pretty/shiny" but then don't really think about how they're going to coordinate things. Definetely pay attention to sheens of fabrics, colors, what eras or models you're taking inspiration from. For example, I don't care how many people do it-throwing a d.i.a belt with an Alba jacket is too weird. It's two entirely different eras of gyaru. Pick one. Either you're doing the early 2000s get up to the 2009-2012 bullshit. I know they're both cool but pick one day for one era and another day for the next. 

That's another bone I have to pick. You don't have to *commit* to a substyle. Nobody OWNS a substyle either so don't think you're copying or stepping on someone's toes. For sure come up with your own concepts or ideas/find your own inspirations but honestly, picking one substyle just limits yourself so much. I'm the bitch that will be goth'd out one day in all black and then agejo the next day. Deadass, I've done that before and I have so much fun doing it because nobody knows wtf to expect from me. I definitely have eras of time where I'm fixated on one style for a while but honestly, I just like pretty things and clothes. 

I feel like there needs to be an emphasis more on love gyaru for gyaru versus trying to be exactly in THAT way. It's okay to experiment with substyles...I just don't know about mixing too many elements from different eras or whatever. 

Anyway, I'm sure this blog is getting way too lengthy so I'll end it here for now. Hopefully this month will be a little bit more eventful because I have things to do which always means an excuse to get dressed and leave my fucking house. haha...

Procrastination, Cute Outfits, Health Issues, and of course: YouTube

 Hello Hello! Welcome to this month's blog post. 

I have been SO busy since we last spoke guys. I'm basically procrastinating on some of my school work because finishing a project took it the fuck out of me. I've never been as mentally drained as I have been this school year. I swear. I'm not sure if it's senioritis or just the lack of boundaries and separation between school work from home and keeping my home space separated from it all. The amount of work professors have assigned this school year is fucking insane. I think I've also been under a lot of pressure because in order to get my TESOL certificate, I'm not allowed to make anything less than a B. I can't even make a B- so I'm over here kind of stressed the fuck out because of the pressure. haha... 

There was one night where I was supposed to go to bed early or work on shit and I just ended up talking to Calypso for most of the fucking morning. It was ass o'clock my time. smh. It was fun but arghhh why do I do this to myself? Btw, she started a blog so go follow her: https://kestionizonline.blogspot.com/

If you like extra-long blogs kinda like mine she just recently did one. She lives that gal mama life with her family in Paris.

ANYWAY, I think I'm also just over this era of my life and want to move forward and start making a regular stable paycheck. I know it will be a little stressful because I'm a fresh graduate with some fresh loans to pay off, but I know I work super hard and that this all will eventually pay off and lead to me living the life that I've dreamed of living for a very long time. 

I'm either moving to Tokyo or moving into San Francisco if I stay in the US. That is the goal. 

Anyway, I guess I should update ya'll on things on here even though most of you guys know what's been up via the Instagram. 

A few weeks ago I FINALLY was able to do a look. I actually stayed up all night knowing that if I slept and tried to do a look, I wouldn't get outfit pictures and it was super essential for me to have the cord pictures in good lighting considering that I was promoting some stuff from Mayu's brand SweetHeartYun! 

Mayu's Blog: https://mayuminnielove.blogspot.com/

Mayu's shop: https://www.etsy.com/no-en/shop/SweetHeartYun

I bought some of the really cute bear items because it reminded me of old school Tralala as well as this deco bling shop that used to exist in Shibuya 109 way back in the day (to be fair, there were two shops. A whole big bling and deco shop full of different items and then a brand that I think was only sold at SBY and then the girl who designed the stuff ended up functioning independently for a bit. But her stuff was more hime). 

Bears are also super trendy in more modern items though, they are usually included in the menhera/darker aesthetics from brands like Ank Rogue or Travas Tokyo. This is definitely the more himekaji gyaru version of that trend but in a modern way I suppose?

I tried a lot of different things because lately I've been inspired by literal himekaji. I mean..like..not even the boho LL shit but the actual hime shit from Diamante and Liz Lisa but made casual if that makes any sense? Basically 2007 bullshit. I typically don't stick to one substyle, era, or model but I personally think it leaves me open to experiment with a lot of things and have fun.

I definitely had fun with this look. It was wild, I think this is the one time I haven't filmed my make-up for a tutorial and this was the make-up everyone was requesting a tutorial of. God. Dammit. 

To be fair, I was tired AF. I didn't want to bust out my three ring lights and set up a tripod for the DSLR (it's a fucking hassle, I swear) and I also didn't realize my make-up would turn out THAT nice. Jesus Christ. My lashes were doing really well that day and that doesn't always happen. Pink eye make-up/pink make-up is typically one my default color schemes and is the one I think I'm most known for other than me doing red eye make. Basically, ya girl lives for her warm tones. However, I think in the future I wanna try working with orange and gold tones for some himekaji stuff but watch me default to pink because I recently bought fucktons of pink clothing items. 

I recently bought some Popteens from 2007 and the covers have Tsubasa Masuwaka on them looking like an all-out queen. I noticed that she was doing the good old 2000s trick of throwing crystals under the eye makeup/under the lower lash line so I tried it out for this SweetHeartYun look since I wanted it to look extra special. I recently bought some super shiny flatback crystals for nails and I might have to buy more because I really love this effect for the eye make-up. It made the area super shiny and I feel like adding fun bits made me almost look younger somehow?

For hair, I kind of wanted to pull an Okarie. I typically combine different trademarks from different models and combine them or just do my own thing. I know a lot of people like entirely copying models but I've been doing this stuff for so long that I feel like I can divert a little bit and do/make my own thing at this point. I did a low twin-tail style for the hair and because my bands are pretty long right now, I decided to add pull the bangs back and pin them. I teased the front a little bit before I pinned it and I really liked the look a lot. 

The Okarie trademark honestly came in when I added the flowers. I know this is just a typical Popteen type of deal but it reminds me of a specific Popteen cover with Okarie on it (the one where she graduates from the magazine actually) is why I say that. 

For my outfit, I tried to really make it all out Popteen style. The top is of course, SweetHeartYun. The skirt is from Liz Lisa. The shoes are 2006 Jesus Diamante pink and white lace enamel mules with a clear plastic heel. The bag is an old school polkadot Samantha Vega chain clutch in pink and white that has rhinestone detailing in the quilting. I added the SweetHeartYun bling bear keychain in pink to further cuten up the bag. 

The flowers are just offbrand hair flowers all layered together. My earrings (that you sadly can't see) are pink rhinestone hearts. I also added to the sleeves of the shirt for an extra cute touch, pink hair hair bow clips. That little detail is hardly noticed in pictures but I was actually able to make a very quick coffee run and the barista complimented that small little detail and thought that it came with the shirt like that! haha. It's a really neat little trick I learned from when I used to customize offbrand clothes back in the day. 

In all, I'm pretty proud of the outfit. It was super comfortable minus my shoes because I swear I have a thyroid issue or excessive fluid in my legs because everything is swollen and it makes shoes hard to fit on my feet. :( This is another reason I can't wait to graduate and get a stable job so I can afford health insurance to figure out wtf is wrong with me!! 

Let's actually talk about my weight gain for a minute. So for a good couple of years, I've gained weight in a way that doesn't make any sort of sense to me. I don't eat fast food (period. like. none of it. maybe In and Out once every six months or Starbucks once every 2-3 months). I've cut soda entirely and am on coffee, tea, and mainly sparkling water. I do a lot of matcha recently unsweetened because it's a good antioxidant. My snacks have been konjac jelly drinks and nori if I crave chips because it is low in calorie. I do a really small breakfast of yogurt/vegetables/ect. and one meal a day of my choice. I try to stay under 1,200 calories. Weekends I allow myself to cheat where I'm allowed to have my other snacks like chips or whatever because you can't just quit cold turkey or you go insane.

I often cook my own meals (I gotta film how I do kitsune udon and all). I also limit my milk and meat. I mostly do nut based milks (almond and cashew) and cook with regular milk since nut milk can't go in pastas or whatever. 

I've also been doing this thing where I go in between water pills and apple cider vinegar pills. The water pills do really somewhat help with my water retention in my legs but I've noticed as I've gotten older, my legs will ache at night or my heels will feel stabbed. Apple cider I don't know if that's working to really curb anything but I heard it might help. 

If anything all of these habits have only maintained my current weight and I haven't gained at the least in the past year but I haven't lost. I'm thinking of trying to run if my legs can handle it. A lot of my weight gain is in hormonal areas too so I'm wondering if birth control could fix this shit or if this is a larger issue. I've been experimenting around for a year cutting bad habits and all in order to see if it can solve anything but so far, nothing drastic has solved it. 

More importantly, I just want to be healthy. Losing weight is important because I love wearing my pretty things but I want to do it in a way that isn't crazy harmful if that makes any sense because I might be blaming myself for something that is beyond my habits and needs actual medicine. I've never had the privilege of being able to just up and go to doctors and afford it (ha! Welcome to the US) so I'm looking forward to able to "fix" myself whenever I have stable income. 

Speaking of health things, I finally am going to be able to get my vaccine for COVID thanks to my friend Ichigo who is going to visit and take me. My family is pretty divided on the vaccine but I know that I need it if I intend to do anything. 

I have a huge to-do list over the summer actually! Once I get properly vaccinated, I want to go to the dentist. I haven't gotten a cleaning in a couple years (no health care) so I have to pay that out of pocket. Then get some fillings done because one of my fillings on one of my front teeth behind it fell out and it's been a MESS because now it's created an obvious cavity in the front and I've just been stalling because it's been COVID. Ugh. 

Afterward, I want to up my eye prescription. This is why I haven't bought any new circle lenses lately and have just been wearing my Princess Mimis. There's no point of getting them when my pointage is going to change soon. So after I figure all of that out, I want to buy a couple of different lenses. Mainly just a refill of the Mimis (probably in sesame gray and apple green) and my OG Geo Nudies because those are comfortable AF. I kind of want some purple and pink Vassen lenses but shipping is gross lately so if I can just get my main holy grail lenses I'll be fine.  

The last thing I need to do is go to the post office and get my passport. I've never traveled overseas before so I've never had one. But I'm intending on working in Japan once this pandemic settles down (hopefully by the time I graduate in December) so I obviously need a passport in order to do that. Once I figure out wtf I'm doing I probably need to do embassy stuff and fuck tons of paperwork in order to yeet myself across the ocean but the passport is obviously my first step in doing so. I also wanna save up for a new phone because mine is fucking dying gdi. </3 I use it for pics and blog/vlog stuff now too so getting an update would be nice. I'm waiting for the iPhone 13 to come out because yes, I am an Apple girl. Especially since I live down the street from Silicon Valley/where Apple's headquarters is, I like to jokingly say I'm supporting a local business. haha.. 

Basically, my summer is setting up some stuff. Adult responsibilities. However, I should be able to sneak in some fun creative things over the summer. I kind of want to learn electric guitar? My baby brother has collected a couple of different guitars and equipment this past year and he no longer uses his old amp or his old ESP. I kind of wanna see if I have the patience to learn. I really like J-Rock stuff and you don't see girls often play stuff. I always think it's super badass when I see girls play. I wanna learn a ton of different stuff. UVERworld to the Gazette man... LOL <3 Or even Ayumi Hamasaki's "Evolution" because that's one of my favorite songs of hers. 

Anyway, one last update I can talk about is my YouTube channel speaking of projects and needing/wanting to do things. I have a ton of different plans for YouTube in the future. I anticipated uploading a video once a month and surprise surprise, somehow I ended up uploading weekly, which is...wild? 

But I'm so shocked because people have enjoyed me doing so and making a ton of different content. I'm so grateful for the subscribers I've gained these past couple of months. I know for some people 300+ subs is not a lot but for me, it's very significant because for years I stayed in the 100s and I've been making content since 2013 and even before that if my very old YouTube account counts. 

I try not to pay attention to numbers but hey, I'm keeping in mind that 300+ people is a panel room at an event or a convention. It means that ya'll listen to what I have to say. Which is stunning. My talking videos always do the best and that's crazy to me considering I film those on my iPhone with a fucking filter on to improve the lighting rather than the DSLR. I use the DSLR for tutorials and shit and even then, my phone is more forgiving on memory for editing space and just..yeah. 

I've recently started a project where I flip through a ton of my old magazines with you guys. Right now, I'm on a Popteen fix. I've been flipping through a December 2005 issue and a May 2007 issue and they've been doing insanely well given how niche gyaru is. It's even started up a conversation on the style and has reminded others that at one point, Popteen was VERY gal and wasn't associated with cutesy himekaji and that even himekaji as ya'll know it-was an entirely different thing in 2007 and in my opinion, looked way more adult. 

In all, it's been fun and a couple of my gal friends from across the world have taken part in the magazine flipthrough trend as well! I actually made a playlist on my YouTube channel featuring all the gyaru magazine flipthroughs that exist. 

Mind you, if you do end up doing one, I am picky. Anything beyond Popteen 2012 doesn't appeal to me and doesn't feel gyaru. So ya'll don't be salty if you do a current Popteen issue and I don't include it because new Popteen just ain't it. I also don't include super new issues of gyaru magazines because they can still be bought and supported. You should support the print magazine industry because it's slowly dying and it's kind of what killed some stuff to start with. 

Anyway, that is it for me. I probably need to go back to working on my fucking school work. Ugh. Ugh. and Ugh. But hey, I'm almost finished and hopefully I can update soon and with some fun stuff in the near future. 

Spring Break + Other Activities + Fashion Rants: Popteen becoming the catalyst for the Death of Gyaru and 109

 
I probably should finally do a blog post after forever huh?

Not much has gone on in the past month admittedly. It's my senior year of university though I graduate in the fall semester so I have one more round of this. But yeah..it's been pretty busy. I've been up and at it with midterms and whatnot and I'm taking my senior thesis this semester so you can only imagine what that's looking like yeah? 

Anyway, I was permitted a bit of a spring break. I wish I could have done more but honestly, I did quite a bit behind the scenes! On the first day of my spring break, I ended up working on my hair and touching it up. I haven't done anything to it since January so it was much needed. I cut and re-bleached the top of it. I didn't do the ends because I was scared of accidentally giving myself a chemical cut or some shit.

 The second day I spent the time cleaning my room which had turned into a disaster zone since I had gotten swamped with work.

However, by Tuesday, I was finally permitted to have some fun. I haven't had fun with someone else in such a long time... Typically friends stop by for a short while in my neighborhood but my friend Ichigo had decided to spend the entire day with me. I was so grateful. We even left my neighborhood for a boba adventure!!

We decided to dress up pretty crazily. At first, I thought I was going to go as dark as them but I wanted blue hair for that and it's hard to get blue hair to fade and I gotta commit to some Liz Lisa/Himekaji looks before doing that because blue hair and himekaji is too much of a clash. So Liz Lisa it was. Ichigo looked freaking ama
zing in Sex Pot Revenge. Lately, I've been helping them re-define their personal style and I feel like a proud parent watching their child thrive. The whole dark v-kei aesthetic really suits them but they have popped their head into gyaru (they have no interest in joining the comm and I honestly do not blame them, no offense guys. Some of it is just too crazy sometimes and they wanna just enjoy it on their downtime without that type of commitment) with some himekaji stuff and just..my dude they serve it every single flipping time. 

I love how the *one day* that doing my makeup fucking counts for something, it decides to fuck up entirely and I have to start over. This isn't the first time that's happened to me but I always get irritated when my makeup decides to fuck up on a day where it's supposed to matter. I hate it, even more, when I have to start over. Do you guys ever have those days where you're trying to fix foundation lifting or your eyeliner bled a little too much but the more you try to fix or bullshit your way through it-the worse you're making it? That was me. 

Originally I really wanted to mess with color for himekaji. I wanted to do a very pastel-y spring look with a gold/orange eyelid.... But once I paired a blush color with it and my eyeliner had bled..it looked for v-kei or even dare I say-clown-like than it did himekaji. I had actually never hated a makeup look more than I hated that one. Holy fuck. 

I was really grateful that Ichigo was super understanding and allowed me to start over for a bit. ;_; I'm grateful my makeup was fine on round two. 

Honestly, it's been a while since I've done himekaji all out. It's probably been about a year or so...  I think I was feeling over-ambitious by playing with color and I had to unlearn some stuff. Himekaji is a lot simpler and ya girl is just a complicated bitch. So instead for round two, I stuck to neutrals with a navy blue edge that is sadly kind of hard to see but I promise you it's there. For lashes I used some off brand tops that a lot of people like on me (they're not my HG Japanese tops since those don't exist anymore sadly) and my HG bottom lashes that I'll fight a bitch over because those are dead too and I swear by them because they make my eyes look huge with the Princess Mimi contacts.

I feel like I need to buy different circle lenses just to change stuff up but I'm kind of trying to wait until I can get another eye exam. I'd feel stupid splurging on lenses knowing my eye pointage is about to change soon-thus making my previous contacts useless. 

For cheeks and lips, I used FlowerKnows products in reddish/orange colors. I feel like it's kind of un-gyaru but I was basing upon the colors of the dress. The thing about the Liz Lisa dress I was using is that it had a lot of red and orange accents in it that I wanted to bring out. The dress almost has a lolita-like feel to it with the ribbons intertwined with lace at the bottom and the princess neckline. 

I felt a little out of place in it despite this being one of my favorite dresses and the most comfortable that I own from the brand. I have come to the conclusion that my age is catching up to me and the older I get, the harder it is to pull cute stuff off. It makes me kind of sad but it's been bound to happen. I'll still do what makes me happy regardless until I just can't anymore. 

My hair was really simple. I think the bangs would have been cuter in a middle part but little does anyone know that a part of my root on an unbleached part of hair got bleached and so..I am hiding it. lmao. I didn't have enough bleach to bleach the whole strand so it is what it is. We're rocking a side part for a little bit and to be fair, I usually do that anyway. -shrugs- I have one more himekaji look I wanna do before throwing blue in...

Ichigo and I derped around and took some pictures after our boba run in the next town over. They saw the secrets to my cat-fishing. ahaha.. Honestly, our pictures turned out pretty cool. Very the opposite aesthetics looking. Like the real-life Momoko and Ichiko from the movie Shimotsuma Monogatari. lmao. Which is pretty legit because I really do live an hour and a half away from Baby the Stars Shine Bright in San Francisco via a train ride and I live in the fields with the cows. I also dress cute but am secretly brash... I don't particularly do lolita but man do I relate to Momoko feeling like a fish out of water... You're trying to be the best version of yourself in not the best of circumstances because you want to strive to make that version of yourself a total reality in better circumstances. I don't know if that makes any sense but it certainly is quite isolating because it will make you a loner. 

Anyway, Ichigo had mainly come over because we had done a couple of really crazy Harajuku/Shibuya clothing and accessory hauls. I had sent them over to their house since of them were group orders, so I was getting a month or two's worth of shit coming to me all at once. 

It's been a very long time since I delved into the realm of Harajuku fashion. Like I said, I'm not doing lolita but I certainly bought a lot of old gems from Sex Pot Revenge, h.Naoto, and BPN/Peace Now. Lately, I've been wanting to experiment not only with rokku but maybe some androgynous looks as well? I've always styled up other people in visual kei things but had never truly indulged in it myself properly. 

I certainly bought some rokku things from Glad News and Tutuha in my haul as well which are definitely sleek and feminine but the amount of SPR is insane and surreal finally owning it after watching other people own it (and helping others style it) for so long. Same goes with h.Naoto wear but I'm more picky with what I want from that brand. I like a lot of moons, butterflies, and sparkling pieces rather than distressed stuff or whatever. 

Here's a bag I bought from the haul. I forgot the name of the brand but this is such a badass fucking handbag. I love the metal hardware and the lock. It's suuuper androgynous. I can see a bandman or a host carrying this bitch around but I can also see a bangya babe sporting this shit. I've never owned a bag with black leather and silver hardware. Usually, I get stuck with gold hardware (because agejo) but I actually prefer silver anything including jewelry!!  The leather is super nice on this and is probably one of my nicest bags other than my dying Samantha Vega bag (because I carry that one out too much). 

I did film a haul video but I didn't like how it turned out so guess who gets to refilm it? This bitch. It's became such a massive hoard of things that might have to film it in two parts. Like forreal, I've bought so much shit that is doesn't all fit in my closet. I gotta rearrange some shit or just...figure out a different storage method. Cute shit and then dark shit because that's basically been the theme of my hauls. You know how it be with me. LOL. I dress according to mood and I never really stick to one aesthetic. It's really fun that way though because nobody knows what to expect from me when I show up. 

I've bought so much old-school boho Liz Lisa shit that I deadass had to buy new shoes to fit the whole vibe. I found some really cute cowgirl boots that fit me well. My legs are pretty big and swollen (I really don't know what's wrong with me health-wise. :( I've cut soda, I've been eating healthier...it's either water retention or hormones and I can't wait until I have a stable job to have proper insurance to figure out what actually is going on with me that's making me gain weight so awfully)...so I'm really glad these boots fit me fine. I love the little ribbon laces, the eyelet details in the leather, and bow attachments around the ankle. I loved them so much in design that I got them both in brown and white because I have a lot of dresses in that colorscheme. 

Other than Liz Lisa I've also bought my first Jesus Diamante clothing items. I owned a pair of heels before but I actually have never bought clothing pieces. I'm afraid that currently, they won't fit sadly. I really want this one really royal looking empire dress in the black colorway but I always find it in a size 38 and I definitely need a size 42. I bought a couple boleros and cardigans and I'm so happy they fit me just fine even at a size 38. I can't button them worth a shit thanks to my boobs but they fit around my arms and don't ride up my back/my shoulders are fine. I think once I get my health in order, I'll invest in a little bit more of Diamante as a brand because it's super ladylike and I love pretty things like that. 

I don't know if I'd even fully go all out in Himegyaru but I'd like to try it properly one day. 

Ichigo also really got me into darker shit and I finally felt validated enough to kind of indulged in my teenaged closeted admiration for visual kei. I'm not really a crazy person when it comes to bands anymore. That was more of the shit in my youth. I mainly just follow Lezard, Acme, and the Gazette now and other J-Rock shit that isn't v-kei. But I've always liked the fashion associated with it. I really want to pull off some really androgynous looks now that I have androg clothes. I've always loved Sex Pot Revenge but it was always so fucking expensive to buy.... Now that I have it though, it's so friggin comfortable wtf. 

I also keep putting off doing a look because a part of me wants to do dark shit but I wanna dye my hair blue and once I do that, my hair will be blue for a while. It takes forever to fade but there's a himekaji look I also wanna do but I want full outfit pics because I have some stuff from Mayu's brand that I want to properly showcase and it's just a matter of pestering someone to take pics for me. Ughh. 

So yeah, I guess my issue lately has been that my aesthetics and plans for content are clashing because I know once I go dark I'll have to obligate myself for a bit since my hair will be colored and it just doesn't work well with himekaji. LOL. I need to color my hair soon tho because my roots are gonna grow out. x_x 

Ichigo and I ended up hanging out and talked while making Korean BBQ. I swear we had so much bulgogi that we just...don't want KBBQ for a while. I got us both BBQ Pork and bulgogi. I overestimated how much we could throw down. I think the banchan made us get full quickly. I did not only have just meat but I also had daikon kimchi, Hokkaido sweet potatoes, and japchae dumpings for banchan. I didn't include rice because I knew that would fill us up super fast. 

For dessert, I got us some sanshoku dango. I feel like our meal was a combination of both Korean and Japanese food. Both of which are my favorites. 

It's so funny that I've eating so much Asian cuisine before I move to Japan. I feel like I need to really get my fill of American food before it's harder to get but I don't know...American food mostly makes me feel like shit and Japanese and Korean food makes me feel less shitty? I don't know how to explain it. Other than when I do KBBQ, the portions are reasonable and I feel like a lot of food groups are covered...plus I have a lot of pickled things or nori..or konjac..etc. etc. I feel like I eat healthier? 

Before Ichigo left, they sweetly supplied me with some Daiso goodies. They live near a Daiso while I live a couple cities over from it (and I don't drive so...). I was suuuuper thankful. I had only requested a pack of cotton pads and a pack of make up remover wipes but Ichigo probably had stocked me up until I leave the US. LOL. Also I've never tried the Poppin' Cooking things before and I want to wait to do them until I can do them properly on camera. 

Anyway, I vlogged a little bit of my spring break with Ichigo as seen here: 

I vlogged in a way that's popular overseas. Currently, I am a huge fan of Anchanland on YouTube. She's a bangya vlogger but I really love her style of editing. Plus, she not only goes to concerts (giving me insight on what the scene is like there) but also showcases a lot of hair salons and cafes that look interesting. As someone who is a non-partier, I love concerts and cafe hopping the most. That's more of my pace so I really love that someone who is into current things is vlogging. The vlog that caught my eye was the one she did wearing old school Ma*rs. Unfortunately, it was a one time deal for Halloween (man, my aesthetic isn't a costume ;_;) but it was so nice seeing the infamous perfume print out and about on the streets of Shinjuku. Her hair was gorgeoussss in that vlog as well. 

She is not the only vlogger that vlogs in that style that I did for my own vlog. A lot of Korean and Japanese YouTubers film and edit in this style. I assume it's so they can maintain privacy. One, because not everyone wants to be super famous. They just want to make memories through content creation. That or they wanted to maintain the privacies of their friends. Also, their line of work may prevent them from being out in the open about their hobbies. Showing themselves online or documenting things may get them in trouble, unfortunately. It's why voices disguised or faces are blurred. 

I tried this style mainly to maintain the privacy of Ichigo. While they are a content creator, I didn't want to obligate them to being such on a chill day. Honestly, I just wanted to enjoy my day as well without worrying about lighting or angles. I really wanted an ASMR-y type of vibe as well and for you guys to share the moment with me from a perspective that may be considered more first person than third person. 

I recommend trying out the vlogging style at least once. I might do more of that vlogging once I'm in Japan for work. I feel like it's way more discreet and I would be worried being too open on the internet about doing gyaru. I love gyaru but because of the connotations that come from outsiders, I'm. afraid it would bar me from job opportunities sadly. It sucks because I want to work to maintain not only my stability and independence but I also want to maintain my lifestyle as a gal. 

I'm hoping that as long as I do a really good job and stay motivated that my own personal time can be my own... There's a time and place to do these sorts of things once you become an adult. I don't drink or party..or mess around with people or whatever else so if me dressing like a weirdo is the worst thing I can do...I think I might be okay. LOL...

Other than spring break, I've actually been pretty busy speaking of work. I had a midterm immediately after my spring break as well as like..six assignments due all on the first week back on the same day. I was so frazzled and exhausted that I was turning in things in the wrong places even! After that Friday, I managed to film and edit a magazine video. I had been planning this project for awhile and encourage other gals to also do the same. I chose my favorite magazine out of my collection of gyaru magazines which is, Popteen's 2005 issue with Namie Amuro on the cover. I got this magazine two years ago and gosh..it really is a gorgeous one. 

I mainly got it because of Namie Amuro but the contents inside are very strong. There's Tsubasa pre-plastic surgery...there's old aesthetics...there's a Nana movie spread that I have yet you show you all. In all, it's such a fun magazine. I uploaded the first part of the magazine here: 

I was really shocked by the response it got. I mainly did these sorts of videos because I don't need to doll up for them in order to make content. The issue with me sometimes is that I'm very tired based on school. That or like...after I get all set up with ring lights and stuff..I dread doing make up because I know I'll just sweat and die. LOL. I wish I was going out more so that way I would already be dressed up and just film. I feel like because my gyaru stuff is so limited to YouTube and Instagram due to the pandemic, I'm not getting as motivated. I want to save my nice things for going out. Not for a video if that makes any sense at all.. 

So doing magazines was simple enough. I wanted it to feel like you were flipping through a magazine with a friend. Plus, I feel like there are so many "baby gals" that have joined the gyaru community and a lot of them (no offense) really do miss the mark when it comes to paying attention to eras of fashion or over all styling/hair/makeup. Of course you have to start somewhere but we all know my opinion on this. 

If you're not a participant of this style or very new to it, it's not really right for you to be educating people on gyaru or having an opinion of it. I feel like all of that comes with time and experience...lots of research, trial and error on yourself, and really figuring out what you like as a gyaru. 

A lot of the reactions I got towards the December issue of Popteen was, "I didn't know Popteen looked like this"...and I will admit, I was slightly disappointed but then kind of not shocked? This era of Popteen is probably when there was a true gyaru boom. Celebs mimicked this shit. Tsubasa was about to pop off and brand herself. Truly, this is the era everyone should have paid attention to because as shocking as old school Egg was with manba/yamaba/banba...it's actually kind of short lived to be so memorable. It's only memorable because it's outrageous not because it was long lasting versus this style of gyaru that is way more attainable and due to that, is overlooked. 

But honestly, because it was attainable and wearable, a lot of people started wearing gyaru in this way. This was the Popteen I grew up on and didn't think much of (because I was getting into Kera magazine comparatively and really loved intricate gaudy shit..so lolita and v-kei was my vibe back in my teens) it but if you look really closely, the outfits in this Popteen are really well thought out and a product of it's time. The coordination is really simple and I think "baby gals" would really benefit off of this era because it's a lot of t-skirts, denim skirts, interesting shoes, hats, and layering. It's actually not as complicated as the more "extra" styles are and you'll immediately look gyaru if you do the hair and make-up right. 

I feel like a lot of people associate Popteen with their himekaji/Liz Lisa/Popteen-kei showcases from the 2009-2012 which is great...I love that era too but that's honestly when things began to shift and gal became less of Popeen's priority. I explained in a comment that Popteen was never mean to be a gyaru magazine. It was just a trendy magazine for teens and gyaru just happened to be a very long-term trend especially with a large Avex boom (dude so many Avex artists are on the covers from the 2000s no lie...Ayu, Koda Kumi, Namie, BoA, Dream (I think?), among others)... I think a lot of girls wanted to look like celebs at one point and that whole ideal has kind of died over time. There currently isn't an "it" girl for anyone to look up to like there was before. Even when it wasn't Avex artists, it shifted to models like Rola, Jun Kumori, Okarie, Kumicky, and of course the reigning queen of Shibuya; Tsubasa Masuwaka. 

The thing is...models kind of shift with the trends over time. They're not their own brand like music artists are I feel like. For example, Namie despite her age will always be known for some style of mini skirt and thigh-high boot. Ayu will always be known as the Madonna of Japan to me. She's extra AF to the point where it gets her criticized. 

Kumicky and Tsubasa have gone the Omottesando auntie route nowadays with their look because they're not "young and cute" as my Japanese professor says (haha) to really do anything more than what they're doing, Their wives and mothers now and have settled down mostly...partaking in high-end trends since they've reaped the rewards from their previous domination over fashion. However, nobody really passed off the crown to the younger generation and I think that's a huge problem in the market. 

Popteen really started relying on Liz Lisa and Liz Lisa relied on Popteen. Once Popteen shifted to an "otona" route for the magazine, the brands also had to shift and change because most of their customers were readers of Popteen. Popteen being a dominating magazine that was affects 109 I feel, made other magazines also shift their marketing because suddenly, 109 brands were toning down to cater towards Popteen's readership. This is why Egg and Ranzuki toned down..they were working with whatever 109 was giving them. The thing is too, notice how Ageha was toning down a little bit but at that shift brands like Ma*rs, Rady, Emiria Wiz, DaTuRa, Golds Infinity,  Glad News, and Ghost of Harlem were all standing pretty strong...

I'm assuming it's because they weren't relying on 109 as their main source for fashion sales. Of course some of those brands were in 109, but not all of them. I found that a lot of the extra-looking shit for a little bit was in Shinjuku rather than in Shibuya for a little bit. As people got older, the less they wanted to troll around the younger part of town maybe? The gyaru possibly had grown up and out of Shibuya and looked for (and worked in) nightlife activities else where and shopped elsewhere. 

Eventually Ageha was affects but I did notice how for a minute, it took them a minute to tone down into the whole My Melody + Kuromi cosplay Larme aesthetic that has been dominating brands like Ma*rs, Ank Rogue, and Liz Lisa that were all previously gyaru staples. 

I hate to say I want to blame Popteen for why gyaru got fucked over but truly...think about it. What the heck stayed alive when all the other magazines died out? What fashion do you see both in 109 and featured in Popteen? I think it's all connected. It's sad too, I used to be VERY enthusiastic about Popteen. Even more than Koakuma Ageha at one point. I have a love/hate relationship with the magazine. 

Making my video was fun because I got to fondly look back on stuff that I kind of grew up seeing on YouTube or just...Japanese media. 

I'm glad everyone is enjoying the video though. I hope it can give you some inspiration or show others that maybe they are overthinking gyaru as a style too much. I'll hopefully have Part II out very soon, so keep your eyes peeled! 

Anyway, I'm sure this blog is getting too long so I will call it a morning. It is 6 am over here after all and I've been up working on a portfolio assignment for a class making a mock cover letter and resume but thought since I was in a writing mood, that I would finally update my blog!

February BlogPost: Finally a New Look and Life Updates~! + Using New Bottom Lashes

 Hello Hello! I'm back with a monthly blog post. For awhile I was making efforts to do a blog post a month so I would always have a lot to talk about but ever since the pandemic hit, there's been less to talk about sadly. 

ANYWAY... February has been a little hectic because my newest semester started at the end of January and it's been non-stop work since then. The work isn't even a lot per se, I'm just so burnt out from last semester that I'm kinda having a difficult time staying motivated. I haven't gone out or done anything fun outside of my neighborhood since last year so it's been really hard for me to keep focus considering going out with friends was a huge motivator for me to get through my weeks sometimes... A lot of times it feels like all work and no play. 

Which has lead to that mood bleeding into my motivation for gyaru... I feel like because I've been so limited to only doing gyaru for content creation versus going out into the world in it like I usually do-I feel like a fake gyaru or just...it feels disengenuine..? Because I do tutorials or videos for YouTube or whatever else at ass o'clock and it comes right off after hours of making content. 

It feels more like work than a lifestyle lately which kinda sucks. I wear cute PJs or whatever else indoors for Zoom or whatever (god I hate Zoom) it takes me so long to get ready and I get so busy for classes that it's not something I want to do if I'm going to just stay indoors focusing on work. 

I miss going out in my clothes and makeup..loitering at boba shops playing Jenga, gossiping at Paris Baguette or 85C Bakery, tromping around the mall for Sephora, and singing Namie Amuro songs at karaoke until 3 am... 

I miss that shit so bad... I also miss my friends like crazy. I really do miss socializing and I loathe videocalls now a day because I'm always on my computer due to class. I wanna not be hunched over the computer even tho I am right now writing this. 

Okay, now that you've heard me bitch and moan...WE ARE MOVING ON..lmao 

On Valentines Day I decided to force some motivation out of myself by doing a V-Day look for a couple of pictures and videos. I think I started at 3 in the afternoon and didn't finish filming things or taking pics until 3 in the fucking morning... That's a 12-hour shift!

At first, I was going to do a blue and black look with a huge ass bow I bought but that kind of didn't work out so I decided to rock some MeJane instead. I thought the big bow would work with MeJane but my hair doing so well on my own that such a big bow kinda flattened it, so I opted for the mini hat instead. 

Honestly, I feel like the look needed one of those thick cloth headbands you tie around and that are silk. GlamJane kinda hits different versus Ma*rs but I adore it. It's a different vibe from Ma*rs and Golds and it was refreshing to do. 

My nails absolutely didn't match because I had intended on doing a cute Popteen-esque blue look inspired by Cecil but blehhh...it felt meh so maybe next time or some time in the future. My nails were kept really simple because I was hella dead and was doing them half in the fucking dark... Because I'm crazy and threw colored lightbulbs in that lack wattage...OTL all for aesthetic. -is truly a dumb bitch- lmao

I really liked my eye makeup! I blended pink, brown, and black together and used a sparkling gold as an inner highlight. I think the makeup tutorial will turn out for this so give me time to finish my school projects (and maybe even my upcoming midterms. yikes) and I'll have that edited. Makeup tutorials are pretty time-consuming to edit. 

I used off-brand top lashes that are as close to DiaLash's Angel Eye as I am going to get. Though the bottom lashes are DiaLash's Charming Eye which was interesting.  I had never tried those before. I have tried Natural Eye, Model Eye, and Princess Eye before in regards to DiaLash's bottom lashes but I had basically never experimented with the blue boxes when it comes to bottoms. 

They have a voluminous half-band and two small individual pieces. They take a second to throw on and you have to be extremely patient but they're very pretty! I don't recommend these if you're in a rush, but if you have time to really spend time on your eye make, I do recommend them. 

The seller I bought from was awesome and sent me three packs instead of one. Thanks to whoever you are for truly hooking a bitch up because I had only bought one pack. 

NOW...if only I could find proper tops because while the top lashes I'm using are pretty-the band is fucking clunky and likes to not stay because if bends in squares and isn't a smooth bend. I don't know if that makes any sense but if you've tried the tops I've tried then you know exactly what I mean if you compare them to Japanese lashes. 

In other news, thanks to Georgie (http://georgiepiyo.blogspot.com/) -her decome boom and also my local PuriKura shop biting the dust (ugh) made me realize I could do self-done PuriKura. There still ain't nothing like doing that shit in a proper booth but this method is a good alternative. I did a tutorial on how to glam up your photos as shown here.  Here's a pic I threw together and the tutorial video down below!

I also did one of my friend Ichigo, who decided to delve into the realm of J-Fashion. They did a gyaru look that kinda made me die a little inside. I'm a lone gyaru locally and I get really excited when my local friends try it out and do a damn good job and have the potential to be legit AF...because bitch, it's lonely out in these parts. ahaha.

I think Ichigo did a fabulous job so I edited the shit out of their pictures. At first, they weren't gonna post them but after enough bribing and being ganged up on they did.

Speaking of Ichigo, I've been a bit of a personal shopper/stylist for people lately. I did a group order with them that is rather on the dark side. After YEARS..like a decade of buying SPR and Naoto-for significant others or ex-romantic involvements-I *finally* bought some for myself. LMAO. I'm so excited to eventually get my shit. 

I'm happy my friend is fucking thriving too. Like wtf... They're living their best life right now... They've never owned brand before, so seeing them marvel at the details of things and appreciate it highly because they're looking at it for the first time really touches me. I've been doing this for years and while I appreciate the details of the clothing, for me this is my everyday now. I'm used to the small things so it's not as exciting for me as it it for my friend and it makes me think back on the time when I had purchased my first pieces of J-Fashion brand and gyaru brand. Man...that was so long ago. If you told Baby Darla that I'd have to crazy ass closet I have now-she wouldn't believe you. I thought I'd be limited to sobbing over those clothes in fucking magazines. Having them in my hands feels surreal but for sure, the first time I held Liz Lisa or Ma*rs or whatever else...that was an experience I'll never forget, and witnessing my friend get to have that feeling that long left it makes me happy. 

I hope they enjoy. They look amazing and they're fucking killing it. <3 It makes me think of my baby years where everything was shiny and new and a huge deal. 

I've also been in contact with Lizzie lately (https://www.hellolizziebee.com/) and I've been helping her find pieces for her wardrobe since she's super into old school himekaji and Popteen-kei shits. I used to really adore shit like that but I was lonely as hell. This was back when everyone was hardcore/old school or bust years ago...</3 so now, that I have someone to gush over an era that I kinda put away for a rainy day-it's really exciting to me again to fawn over Popteen models. Before for awhile? It was all about the Egg gals. I love both styles and without a doubt, I'm for sure busting out my new Alba gets when it gets hot enough. 

However, looking for Lizzie and Ichigo rubbed the fuck off on me because they adore Liz Lisa. SO...I ended up buying some Liz Lisa. I kept finding boho pieces from 2010/2011 and honestly? That is my favorite era of LL. That was when the brand was certainly thriving and when Popteen models were exclusively wearing the shit out of that stuff.

I feel the boho Liz Lisa or gyaru era is still that California gal vibe but..instead of the beach-you're going to music festivals or traveling to landmarks..going to open markets in the summertime. It's a different realm of "fun in the sun". It's still sexy and cute. It's got a mature element about it despite being cute. I don't know how to explain it but it's still very gal. 

I knew about Liz Lisa beforehand but I wasn't following collections closely until *I* was actively doing gyaru so 2010/2011 is extremely sentimental to me because these are the clothes I closely followed and would fawn over. I can't tell what LL was 2006-2008 based on the silhouette and prints, fabric, and fluff...but 2010-2011 is most recognizable for me because I remember the era and lived through it even though I was way too limited as a recent college drop out to be able to indulge and participate myself. 

So...I saw someone who was just hocking their entire closet. Most of my haul had tags on it so I'm assuming this was all from some former gal or collector's closet and they were doing away with it all a decade later. 

There's one Ank piece in this haul and a SuLov piece but the rest is Liz Lisa as shown in the video. 

I had friends shit themselves over my haul. The collection is pretty solid. There are a couple of dresses in interesting colors and in colors that a couple of gals couldn't recall seeing before (wtf, that blue dress that I usually see in white...IS THERE A PINK ONE THAT EXISTS THEN? :o). But I think what truly made everyone shit bricks was that haul of 11 items was under 80 bucks with shipping included. 

I'm not even not gonna brag. I am the queen of deals. Full price? Who is she? LOL We don't do that shit in this house. 

I'm really excited to wear these items out. What most people don't know is that LL typically is my default for school. LL usually means neutrals and that's way easier to blend that color and usually I do the thing where there's a focus on blush...

Speaking of school.... Offtopic but something that is important! I filed the application for my graduation today. I'll be graduating from Sacramento State University (fun fact: I graduated from the capital of California) in Fall 2021 with a bachelor’s degree in English Language Arts with a TESOL certificate on the side. My academic career will finally be at a close unless I can somehow afford my Masters (which I would love to do). I'm very excited but also very nervous.

The state of the world and the economy in my country worries me... I don't know how likely I would find job offers and in a place that makes me feel secure and happy as an English major here. I think my plan for a little while is to run away to Japan for a little while if the world ever stops being on fire. 

I've always wanted to be a teacher but given that I can't drive and my family's location isn't ideal-it would really be difficult for me to fulfill my credential requirements. SO..instead, I opted for a TESOL certificate to teach overseas because I can teach with a BA. I've always wanted to go to Japan, so what's better than getting paid to go? Yes, I'm there for work and I'll have to tone down during the weekdays but I'm hoping I can explore and enjoy myself to the fullest on the weekends in my full on get up. I don't drink, party, or mess around at all-I enjoy concerts/music, good food, and making friends...so I'm hoping that if dressing like a weirdo is the *worst thing* I can do-then I'll be fine. 

I also would like to *try* to vlog about my adventures or just overall experience if I can once I'm over there. I see a lot of J-Vloggers do general content but I haven't ran into someone vlogging that into my niche fully and I've always been big on making content that I wish I had. However, teaching would be my main gig and I definitely wouldn't want my side hustle interfering with my main thing if you know what I mean...so I guess will see.

Otherwise, I would really like to return to the Bay Area and work creatively in San Francisco. I think at this point, it's just a matter of being able to afford to live there. California rent is disgusting but the Bay Area (especially SF) is just a whole different level of atrocious. I adore cities and accessibility. I also can't drive (keyword on how I'm not saying won't. I literally *can't* and it's an insanely long story to explain as to why) so I need to be in an area where I don't need to drive to thrive. 

SF is actually more expensive than Japan I think..maybe.....I THINK. We'll see. Point is, I decided on Japan because I've always wanted to go. I have some knowledge of the language from taking four years in high school (and I really would love to scaffold off of what I already know). They're willing to pay me to teach with. BA. I miss city life like a motherfucker. And more importantly, I need to live somewhere where I don't need to drive to thrive. 

So...I'm partially running away from my problems in the States post-graduation but I hope it's either an answer or bides me time because a bitch has student loans to pay off (tho I can't complain. COVID reduced the amount by a fuck ton since I mainly only had to take out a loan for living expenses and I've gotten to work from my family's place since the pandemic hit). 

I am bummed out I didn't get a proper campus experience and that the majority of my academic career post-high school was majorly online. I didn't really get to socialize or really establish myself in Sacramento or gain mentorship like I had intended to and it's mainly why I decided last minute last year at the start of the pandemic to take on TESOL work. I knew I needed a backup because I wasn't gaining what I was hoping to...

This got really serious but I hope that gives insight as to why I am busy/inactive and even as to what my future plans are. I am an academic gyaru and maybe a career woman who just so happens to be gyaru in the future. <3 I want to be a role model in a certain sense because I know not everyone follows through with this path or even at times, doesn't have a good sense of balance when it comes to separating their work life from their hobby. I'm determined to prove you can thrive doing both...maybe. Like I said, we'll see. I don't know what the future holds.

Anyway, this blog is getting long so imma just end this here. Thanks for reading guys!