♛❤~Lonely Hearts Club~❤♛

Of course I'd randomly title a blog post after a Marina and the Diamonds song near Valentine's Day and all! Haha~ Oh wells it's fitting and I actually really like Marina and the Diamonds. Anyway, onto a life blog since it's been a little while. First off, I ended up leaving my job at the beauty store as a seasonal temp but the better part of it was, I realized how fucking miserable I was in retail. I actually didn't realize how much I didn't prosper there paycheck wise and mentally until I finally started my first set of classes in school.

That's another progression that happened, I finally after forever of trying to get shit together, started my first semester right after the job loss and loved it. I realized why I had to have quit way back and I feel like at the age I'm at now, the appreciation for school is there a lot more. I'm less concerned with what others think of me or just a lot of the nonsense that I was concerned with at eighteen. The right type of discipline is there now that probably would have been there at eighteen with that new found sense of control. At twenty three I'm so much more sure of what I want to do with my life and I'm a lot cautious of any financial decisions I make. Generally I'm just a lot more of an adult. I might not have everything all together but that's okay because everyone takes a different pace in life. I always found it a little silly how people get incredibly concerned with what others think of them and bulk up their class load or take on things they clearly know they can't handle. It's good to challenge yourself but it's also good to realistic. I just recently learned the whole concept of giving zero fucks on what people think of what I am doing with my life. I know myself better than anyone else so everyone else can go suck it~


ANYWAY, classes have been really enjoyable. The greatest bit of it is getting to take online courses... I can work ahead as much as I want or take a day off when I want. It's such a blessing. I'm taking online classes in English which has always been a greater strength of mine (don't let my casual blog writing fool you) so I'm really able to work well without needing to be in class for a couple of hours. I'm pretty much catching up on things that I've forgotten but I'm so relieved that I can look at the text and it be familiar. I've been catching along just fine. Psychology is really interesting too. It's a bit more challenging because my memorization/processing information skills have totally went to shit in four years. I'm hoping I do well, so far so good though!

A really cool part about attending classes is the fact that I've been able to wear whatever the fuck I want. I know that sounds incredibly petty but trust me when you're confined to a professional dress code the majority of the time you're out and about, this is a god sent blessing. Especially to someone that has such a love for fashion. I've been really been placing effort to waking up in the morning and have been doing casual-ish make-up and picking out a nice outfit. It makes me feel put together. After that. I do some last minute studying while having a cup of tea. In all, it's pretty nice. I'm so glad the class I do have is at 10:00 and not 8:00. I wake up at 6:30-7:00 just to take my time getting the hell up and getting ready. Any earlier and I might cry but I'm sure sooner or later I'm going to be forced into it.

Here are a couple of the better outfits and make-up looks I've done so far~

So far so good. Let's hope my laziness doesn't get the best of me!

Other than schooling and all not a lot has been going on. I know a lot of people have been attending conventions and all. I'm just not capable of doing so and honestly, I've been lacking the motivation to go anymore. I love conventions. I've met amazing people there that I'm so glad to call friends. I just
haven't been feeling it at all and I'm not sure when I'll make those first baby steps at trying to muster up the courage of showing my face again. It feels a little bit like being exiled from everything I've loved doing but like I said, in a way maybe it's a good thing I am not capable to attend all these things by myself on my own because I can avoid all of those fears of going back to them. Not sure... That sense of belonging or feeling okay/good at these things is just kind of gone. It's a love/hate relationship...

Because of this I haven't really had a lot of events or excuses to dress up or be a lolita or gyaru. I think this is the part I direly miss because I feel so far from being who I am. While I do dress up at school it's nothing like throwing on ma*rs or Alice and the Pirates and feeling like you're blending in or safe enough to stand out. I have tried pushing my limits pretty hard at school compared to my classmates wearing one piece dresses and heels everyday... While I used to do lolita in college, now that I'm 23 I kind of see how silly and impractical can be since it's so distracting. In a way it's like being forced to grow up when you're the furthest thing from being ready to. You see people older than you get to be who they are and you're envious and just not allowed that luxury. It's like being caged in a bit...

The few times I have went all out, it's been on Valentine's Day. I knew this year's Valentines Day was going to be incredibly hard on me so I made some plans with some incredibly sweet friends who decided to go out with me and food adventure. I was incredibly grateful for it because it was very much so needed....

I decided to really go all out and dress in ma*rs for the first time since July when I went to Anime Expo. Doing agejo fashion the few times I've gotten to has been incredibly refreshing and such a familiar breath of fresh air from being in the routine of playing it safe. The theme for V-Day's outfit was pink, white, black...and to be raunchy as hell. I added fur and a cardigan that I eventually chucked because it wasn't cold by any means. I think the shortness of the dress and thigh-high Yumetenbo boots really made it sexy.I looked like I was dressed for a club or a really hot date, neither of which I was going to.  LOL I even added body glitter from the Lush ShimmyShimmy bar...as if I wasn't crazy enough. Inspiration was SakuRina obviously for this one...

Jett and I ended up stalling over at TapEx because everyone was running crazy late. We ended up getting Takoyaki and peach milk tea pimped out with puddling, jellies, and bobaaaa. It was heavenly. That was only the beginning of our food adventure...

After we met up with everyone else we had lunch at Mitsuwa. I totally regret having noodle because we needed up getting noodles later, but regardless I haven't had Kitsune Udon in awhile and it was pretty damn good. Especially since I've been on such a huge ramen fix. The intention was to get ramen but the line was literally going nowhere. I ended up doing a little bit of shopping and window shopping. I picked up face stuff, chocolates to myself (haha), and some Ichikami shampoo as a refill because I was so set on getting the refill after Tammy's gift came in.

SPEAKING OF TAMMY'S GIFTS. THANK YOU SO MUCH HUNNAY! :) Her haul towards me was supposed to be for Christmas but I didn't get until Valentines Day and in a sense it was kind of nice that it was then. It was a huge pick me up... ^^; Lots of things to play with and blog about. There's no way I deserve all of this but....some how I have all of this stuff in my possession and promise to put into good use. :) I can't thank you enough....

We hit a couple of places randomly after food...

Later on in the day I did a shoot for the first time in a couple months with my friend Miguel. I've really gotten rusty in terms of remembering how to pose and all. Mind you my hair for sure got attacked by the wind and all...and for some reason my make-up didn't turn out as good as I intended. I think I was honestly rusty everywhere in terms of shooting and just doing agejo for the first time in a long while. It was still really nice shooting and Miguel is really developing as a photographer. Next time I'll up my game a lot more I hope.

Afterward friends and I chilled a bit. I had Chinese style noodle soup for the first time. It was really interesting. It was super yummy but hella cilantro x_x  Was an experience.

That was pretty much the adventure. Very relaxing and chill.


Anyway, here's a haul video of everything I've gotten in the past couple of months and how all I feel about it all (spoiler: I like it all):

Until next time~